Yikes, so soon....and after weeks, I am posting twice in one day.
Well, it's late at night and I am just home from a Christmas party so my typing might be slurred...
I just got home from a party and before calling it a night I had to check my email. I received a "caring bridge" update from a friend who is battling cancer. He has a wife and two beautiful daughters and of course, this is nothing he "signed up for".
This past weekend I was with my family and my mom and sisters and a group of wonderful ladies enjoyed lunch and a Lorie Line concert. During the concert I found myself reflecting back on the many concerts we had seen together over the past 12+ years.
One moment, of one concert, over the many, many years came to mind....
"Away in a Manager"...one year this song was especially hard to sing.
I remember holding my mom's hand and praying with her (or maybe silently in my head)..."please dear God, not this year."
"Be near me Lord Jesus, I ask thee to stay. Close by me forever and love thee I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care...and take us to heaven to live with thee there."
I was sick. I still am...but not nearly as bad as it was. I really did not want it to be over and three years later I am planning to celebrate with family and friends another wonderful birthday of Jesus.
I AM BLESSED.
Merry Christmas...a couple of days early.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Yikes...December
December is taking it's toll on me. 30 hours at work, in addition to the extra running around that this time of year brings has brought some challenges. Last night, was ladies Bunko and I had to listen to my body and stay home and rest. I love Bunko night. It's a great group of friends who get together once a month and laugh and talk and share and I really look forward to these gatherings. Last night the kids and I were all in bed by 8:15. I needed it.
I have to share something very special that happened today though....
We have Secret Santa exchange at work. I know it's a secret, but I really wish I could say "Thank you" to my Secret Santa. My "Santa" made an honorary donation on my behalf to the Myositis Association. You can't imagine how very special that is to me. Well, I bet you can.
Just six more days until Christmas eve. I will never forget a message our pastor shared with us a few years ago on Christmas eve. I hope it sticks with me forever.
He talked about how at this time of the year we are all striving for "perfect"...the perfect gift, the perfect decorations, the perfect cookies or perfect dinner, etc... We often fall short, but that is all part of God's plan. The only thing about Christmas that is perfect is Jesus. If we let go of "perfect" we remember to see that gift and how "perfectly perfect" it was.
If I don't find the moments to log back in and post before Christmas...Merry Christmas everyone.
Kris
PS - A quote from my December work calendar "Possibilities - The rock that is an obstacle in the path of one person becomes a stepping stone in the path of another"
I have to share something very special that happened today though....
We have Secret Santa exchange at work. I know it's a secret, but I really wish I could say "Thank you" to my Secret Santa. My "Santa" made an honorary donation on my behalf to the Myositis Association. You can't imagine how very special that is to me. Well, I bet you can.
Just six more days until Christmas eve. I will never forget a message our pastor shared with us a few years ago on Christmas eve. I hope it sticks with me forever.
He talked about how at this time of the year we are all striving for "perfect"...the perfect gift, the perfect decorations, the perfect cookies or perfect dinner, etc... We often fall short, but that is all part of God's plan. The only thing about Christmas that is perfect is Jesus. If we let go of "perfect" we remember to see that gift and how "perfectly perfect" it was.
If I don't find the moments to log back in and post before Christmas...Merry Christmas everyone.
Kris
PS - A quote from my December work calendar "Possibilities - The rock that is an obstacle in the path of one person becomes a stepping stone in the path of another"
Monday, November 16, 2009
Just a few milestones...
Milestone Number 1
This morning was "payroll Monday". Basically this means that managers review timecards to be sure time in and time out is reporting correctly. It was here that I noticed that I worked two 30 hour work weeks, back to back and that included making up for a three hour appointment at Froedert Hospital (that had a happy ending).
Milestone Number 2
This evening I facilitated the first Wisconsin KIT group meeting for the Myositis Association. There were five people on the conference call and three people that called me in advance of the call to let me know they were very interested in participating but just couldn't make the time that was chosen. The call was very interesting, the people that participated were great and they want to meet again in a month. Although the holidays are crazy busy, they all felt it would be a good idea to come together and support each other during this hectic time. Apparently going outside of the daily "norm" wipes more than just me out.
Milestone Number 3
I received my first check from "CafePress"/the BeeMarket for profits from sales. It was for $53.00 and as promised on the shop site, will be sent to the myositis association as a donation toward myositis research.
Thanks for checking in on me.
I appreciate you.
Good night.
Kris
This morning was "payroll Monday". Basically this means that managers review timecards to be sure time in and time out is reporting correctly. It was here that I noticed that I worked two 30 hour work weeks, back to back and that included making up for a three hour appointment at Froedert Hospital (that had a happy ending).
Milestone Number 2
This evening I facilitated the first Wisconsin KIT group meeting for the Myositis Association. There were five people on the conference call and three people that called me in advance of the call to let me know they were very interested in participating but just couldn't make the time that was chosen. The call was very interesting, the people that participated were great and they want to meet again in a month. Although the holidays are crazy busy, they all felt it would be a good idea to come together and support each other during this hectic time. Apparently going outside of the daily "norm" wipes more than just me out.
Milestone Number 3
I received my first check from "CafePress"/the BeeMarket for profits from sales. It was for $53.00 and as promised on the shop site, will be sent to the myositis association as a donation toward myositis research.
Thanks for checking in on me.
I appreciate you.
Good night.
Kris
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Quote from Laurie's facebook page...
The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations.
and a note from my sister-in-law Kithy...
Kithy is going to the Packer/Viking game and she hopes that Brett throws a few completions to the old Green and Gold and that the Vikings lose of course.
:0)
and a note from my sister-in-law Kithy...
Kithy is going to the Packer/Viking game and she hopes that Brett throws a few completions to the old Green and Gold and that the Vikings lose of course.
:0)
Update....
Just a quick note to let you know that the doctor was very pleased with how I looked and the strength tests were either unchanged or improved over my last visit.
I can now see her every FOUR months and have lab work every TWO months. This is a vast improvement over seeing her and having lab work done every month which is how it was in the beginning.
She also approved an increase to my work day and work week. I can now work a 7 hour work day and have an approved range of 25-30 hours per week. It's hard for both of us to move confidently to the next level as in the grand scheme of things, our formula is finally working.
I wish I had a lovely quote to share....let me bop over to my friend Laurie's facebook page and see what she has to share. I'll be back soon with one of hers.
I can now see her every FOUR months and have lab work every TWO months. This is a vast improvement over seeing her and having lab work done every month which is how it was in the beginning.
She also approved an increase to my work day and work week. I can now work a 7 hour work day and have an approved range of 25-30 hours per week. It's hard for both of us to move confidently to the next level as in the grand scheme of things, our formula is finally working.
I wish I had a lovely quote to share....let me bop over to my friend Laurie's facebook page and see what she has to share. I'll be back soon with one of hers.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Another month...
Hello friends,
I can hardly believe a month has passed without a post to my blog. For those of you that have been following my journey you know that means I must be feeling pretty good.
I do. I am feeling good.
There is a way of living that has been gone so long, I don't even know how to get back there.
How to go about each day, doing what needs to be done without fear of how I will feel tomorrow...
I tried this over the weekend and it went pretty well. I did rest for much of the day on Sunday, but I think that being out late on Saturday night and getting up early Sunday morning would probably make just about anyone need a rest on Sunday.
Tomorrow I have my next appointment with my rheumatologist. I plan to ask her if I can increase my work day from a maximum 6 hour day to 7 hours and/or from 25 hour work week to 30 hours a week.
I will keep you all posted on how that goes....
Other updates:
I have new job responsibilities effective today. My new job title is Retail Sales Coordinator.
I will begin volunteering with a group here in Milwaukee called "Making a Difference". I will be meeting with a local high school and helping the juniors learn about working with a budget, how a checking and savings accounts works and how to obtain and use credit wisely.
Just sent out a couple of emails to people with Myositis that have reached out to me and announced that the first WI Kit Group meeting will take place via conference call within the first two weeks of November.
Emma is practicing and practicing for the upcoming Midwest Oireachtas being held in Columbus, OH over the Thanksgiving weekend.
Jake is learning to read, loves lego's and recently joined Bill for his first cub scout meeting.
Bill is still amazing us with his cake creation hobby, and all the things he can accomplish on any given day for his family, our school district, work, church, etc...
Our lives are blessed.
I will post another message tomorrow and update you on my appointment. Thanks for checking in.
Kris
I can hardly believe a month has passed without a post to my blog. For those of you that have been following my journey you know that means I must be feeling pretty good.
I do. I am feeling good.
There is a way of living that has been gone so long, I don't even know how to get back there.
How to go about each day, doing what needs to be done without fear of how I will feel tomorrow...
I tried this over the weekend and it went pretty well. I did rest for much of the day on Sunday, but I think that being out late on Saturday night and getting up early Sunday morning would probably make just about anyone need a rest on Sunday.
Tomorrow I have my next appointment with my rheumatologist. I plan to ask her if I can increase my work day from a maximum 6 hour day to 7 hours and/or from 25 hour work week to 30 hours a week.
I will keep you all posted on how that goes....
Other updates:
I have new job responsibilities effective today. My new job title is Retail Sales Coordinator.
I will begin volunteering with a group here in Milwaukee called "Making a Difference". I will be meeting with a local high school and helping the juniors learn about working with a budget, how a checking and savings accounts works and how to obtain and use credit wisely.
Just sent out a couple of emails to people with Myositis that have reached out to me and announced that the first WI Kit Group meeting will take place via conference call within the first two weeks of November.
Emma is practicing and practicing for the upcoming Midwest Oireachtas being held in Columbus, OH over the Thanksgiving weekend.
Jake is learning to read, loves lego's and recently joined Bill for his first cub scout meeting.
Bill is still amazing us with his cake creation hobby, and all the things he can accomplish on any given day for his family, our school district, work, church, etc...
Our lives are blessed.
I will post another message tomorrow and update you on my appointment. Thanks for checking in.
Kris
Friday, September 25, 2009
Many thanks....
A week ago today, my employer helped my fundraising effort by allowing employees to wear jeans and/or tennis shoes to work for a donation toward my myositis awareness campaign. This week I was presented with a check for $385.oo...that's a lot of people wearing jeans to work for my cause. Many thanks to PyraMax Bank for presenting the opportunity and my sincere thanks to my coworkers for their generosity. I also received a number of envelopes in the mail this week. The word is spreading and funds are being raised to help with research efforts.
I am blessed.
I am blessed.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Today is better
Today is better than yesterday.
I didn't see any walls in front of me today that couldn't be climbed. I did encounter the stairs at work and chose the elevator. After a day like yesterday I have to remember that it's still important to budget my energy in order to keep from having "lows" that knock me out of commission.
I am blessed with great friends, a wonderful employer and the best family anyone could ask for.
Thank you.
Kris
I didn't see any walls in front of me today that couldn't be climbed. I did encounter the stairs at work and chose the elevator. After a day like yesterday I have to remember that it's still important to budget my energy in order to keep from having "lows" that knock me out of commission.
I am blessed with great friends, a wonderful employer and the best family anyone could ask for.
Thank you.
Kris
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The wall...
Today the wall was just too high to climb.
I sure wish I could figure this out. There were weeks there when things were going along pretty smoothly. You all know that because I had nothing new to report and you saw days and weeks go by without an update.
Yesterday I talked about stepping in place. Today, I got up, got ready, got to work, realized that my coffee cup (with tea in it) seemed heavier than normal and my arms ached and the elevator was a better choice than taking the stairs. I looked at my calendar for the day and quickly came to the realization that I didn't have the energy today to take it all on.
When there are days and moments like this it takes a lot to just look at the facts and deal with them as facts and not emotionally. I left work and was home and in bed by 10:45. I got out of bed at 2:45 and by 4:00 I felt the same as I did at 10:00...exhausted.
Everyone deserves better on days like these...the employees I was scheduled to meet with, my husband and kids, the dog, our house, the phone calls that went unanswered and the emails that went unreturned.
I am very close to calling my doctor to let her in on what's going on but there is an internal struggle going on. I am OK with staying in one place for now, things have been running smoothly but I am terrified to report taking a step backwards. It is time to take a look at that lovely sermon from Pastor Henrichs and feel the comfort that comes with the permission to be weak.
If you don't know what I am talking about, the sermon is posted on my blog and I think it's called "I am weak".
My friends, I am going to go watch Jake play with his legos. I pray that the next post will report more positive news.
Thanks for checking in.
Kris
I sure wish I could figure this out. There were weeks there when things were going along pretty smoothly. You all know that because I had nothing new to report and you saw days and weeks go by without an update.
Yesterday I talked about stepping in place. Today, I got up, got ready, got to work, realized that my coffee cup (with tea in it) seemed heavier than normal and my arms ached and the elevator was a better choice than taking the stairs. I looked at my calendar for the day and quickly came to the realization that I didn't have the energy today to take it all on.
When there are days and moments like this it takes a lot to just look at the facts and deal with them as facts and not emotionally. I left work and was home and in bed by 10:45. I got out of bed at 2:45 and by 4:00 I felt the same as I did at 10:00...exhausted.
Everyone deserves better on days like these...the employees I was scheduled to meet with, my husband and kids, the dog, our house, the phone calls that went unanswered and the emails that went unreturned.
I am very close to calling my doctor to let her in on what's going on but there is an internal struggle going on. I am OK with staying in one place for now, things have been running smoothly but I am terrified to report taking a step backwards. It is time to take a look at that lovely sermon from Pastor Henrichs and feel the comfort that comes with the permission to be weak.
If you don't know what I am talking about, the sermon is posted on my blog and I think it's called "I am weak".
My friends, I am going to go watch Jake play with his legos. I pray that the next post will report more positive news.
Thanks for checking in.
Kris
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
One step forward, one in place
One step forward....I was really excited today to see that the word is spreading. Today an article posted on onmilwaukee.com regarding Myositis Awareness. This is truly grassroots effort and it took my friend Jenny getting in touch with her friend Molly to get the article written. A really great thing about the article is I could quickly pass it along via facebook as there is a "share" button right there. So around the world it will go.....that feels great.
One step in place...Today I called Tommy, my physical therapist and told him I needed to take some time off. I have had a decrease in energy or an increase in fatigue or more need to rest...call it what you like, I have had better days. Don't get me wrong, I have had days that are much worse as well. I am getting up, getting to work, but then coming home and resting until I have to get up because the school day is over and the kids are on their way home. It bothers me that I am not going to physical therapy as that is key in making me stronger but right now I am back to the place where I have to budget my energy and use it sparingly.
It reminded me of an article I read about another myositis patient where she said, "you really don't remember what 'good' feels like anymore" I do remember very clearly what 'the worst' felt like and I am not there. My legs still carry me up and down the stairs. My arms still squeeze my husband and kids and my smile is hanging in there too.
Thanks for checking in...
Kris
One step in place...Today I called Tommy, my physical therapist and told him I needed to take some time off. I have had a decrease in energy or an increase in fatigue or more need to rest...call it what you like, I have had better days. Don't get me wrong, I have had days that are much worse as well. I am getting up, getting to work, but then coming home and resting until I have to get up because the school day is over and the kids are on their way home. It bothers me that I am not going to physical therapy as that is key in making me stronger but right now I am back to the place where I have to budget my energy and use it sparingly.
It reminded me of an article I read about another myositis patient where she said, "you really don't remember what 'good' feels like anymore" I do remember very clearly what 'the worst' felt like and I am not there. My legs still carry me up and down the stairs. My arms still squeeze my husband and kids and my smile is hanging in there too.
Thanks for checking in...
Kris
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Kris Barger's 2nd Annual Myositis Awareness and Fundraising Campaign
You may have received this in an email format but if I didn't have your email address and you are still checking in on me, I wanted to reach out to you as well.
As many of you know, last year I had a walking campaign to raise money and awareness for Myositis and Myositis research. This year I would like to reach a greater audience and am hoping to connect with local media to assist me. I am not sure if you have connections with local media but I would appreciate your assistance if you do.
Although I can't attach it to my blog, I have a draft news release I received from The Myositis Association which will provide some general information regarding this rare disease.
This year I volunteered to co-chair a support group here in Wisconsin. We are just at the beginning steps of that process but it would be wonderful to reach out to a larger audience and offer the support and services of the Myositis Association.
I would be willing to share my story and can be contacted either by email or phone.
I have a campaign site set up again to collect money for research.
Please visit www.myositis.org. On the home page you will see
You can make a difference
Learn about TMA members' campaigns to raise funds and awareness for Myositis.
Click on TMA members’ campaigns and click on Kris Barger’s 2nd Annual Myositis Awareness and Fundraising Campaign.
I appreciate your assistance and your thoughtful consideration in making a donation and helping me raise money and awareness for this rare muscle disease.
Sincerely,
Kris L Barger
414-228-0971 (home)
414-858-2991 (work)
As many of you know, last year I had a walking campaign to raise money and awareness for Myositis and Myositis research. This year I would like to reach a greater audience and am hoping to connect with local media to assist me. I am not sure if you have connections with local media but I would appreciate your assistance if you do.
Although I can't attach it to my blog, I have a draft news release I received from The Myositis Association which will provide some general information regarding this rare disease.
This year I volunteered to co-chair a support group here in Wisconsin. We are just at the beginning steps of that process but it would be wonderful to reach out to a larger audience and offer the support and services of the Myositis Association.
I would be willing to share my story and can be contacted either by email or phone.
I have a campaign site set up again to collect money for research.
Please visit www.myositis.org. On the home page you will see
You can make a difference
Learn about TMA members' campaigns to raise funds and awareness for Myositis.
Click on TMA members’ campaigns and click on Kris Barger’s 2nd Annual Myositis Awareness and Fundraising Campaign.
I appreciate your assistance and your thoughtful consideration in making a donation and helping me raise money and awareness for this rare muscle disease.
Sincerely,
Kris L Barger
414-228-0971 (home)
414-858-2991 (work)
A rough start...
Today was one of those days where I was reminded that I am sick. The last few days I haven't felt "right" and the last two nights I have had a really hard time sleeping. I can't get comfortable. This morning the muscle weakness (primarily in my hips and legs) and fatigue hit a high. I showered, I tried to get going but quickly realized defeat and went back to bed. Emma popped her head into my room before she left and smiled and said "I hope you feel better soon mom"
I did not want to be in bed. I wanted to be part of the morning hustle and then kiss everyone and head off to work but today it was not about what I wanted.
I'm OK.
I think I will be able to be part of the excitment tomorrow morning and I think I will be able to go back to work. I hope I will be able to sleep more comfortably tonight, that will make all the difference for tomorrow.
Thank you for checking in. Now that the school year has started we are going to get back into some kind of a routine and I hope that means more posting to the blog.
Take care.
Kris B
I did not want to be in bed. I wanted to be part of the morning hustle and then kiss everyone and head off to work but today it was not about what I wanted.
I'm OK.
I think I will be able to be part of the excitment tomorrow morning and I think I will be able to go back to work. I hope I will be able to sleep more comfortably tonight, that will make all the difference for tomorrow.
Thank you for checking in. Now that the school year has started we are going to get back into some kind of a routine and I hope that means more posting to the blog.
Take care.
Kris B
Thursday, August 27, 2009
There is no new normal
There is no new normal.
I continue to pursue such a thing but in reality there is only today, this moment.
As you know, it's been quite a while since I have last posted. It's summertime, we are busy and nothing has changed. I am still on the road toward remission. Same lab results, same medications, same number of approved work hours....yah da, yah da, yah da. The biggest change I have made this summer has to do with activities around the house. I am now doing more of the laundry, making more of our meals and in general trying to take back some of the things that Bill has been doing for so long. You know there is only so much one man can do and he has been doing it all.
Today, let me tell you only this one thing...my life is blessed with a wonderful husband, sweet children, an amazing family and great friends.
I have been blessed!
PS - I am pondering a second myositis statement (maybe a shirt, maybe notecards, who knows...but you, my faithful friends will know first when it is revealed)
I continue to pursue such a thing but in reality there is only today, this moment.
As you know, it's been quite a while since I have last posted. It's summertime, we are busy and nothing has changed. I am still on the road toward remission. Same lab results, same medications, same number of approved work hours....yah da, yah da, yah da. The biggest change I have made this summer has to do with activities around the house. I am now doing more of the laundry, making more of our meals and in general trying to take back some of the things that Bill has been doing for so long. You know there is only so much one man can do and he has been doing it all.
Today, let me tell you only this one thing...my life is blessed with a wonderful husband, sweet children, an amazing family and great friends.
I have been blessed!
PS - I am pondering a second myositis statement (maybe a shirt, maybe notecards, who knows...but you, my faithful friends will know first when it is revealed)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Here's the sermon...
I saw Pastor Henrichs this afternoon when I went to see the kids Vacation Bible School performance. It was great. It is so neat to see little kids as God's messengers.
Pastor said I could post the sermon and I think the best way to do that is by giving you the blog address. Thank you Cate, you saved me from having to try to figure out how I could post a link.
Have a wonderful week-end.
http://oursaviorwfbsermons.blogspot.com
Pastor said I could post the sermon and I think the best way to do that is by giving you the blog address. Thank you Cate, you saved me from having to try to figure out how I could post a link.
Have a wonderful week-end.
http://oursaviorwfbsermons.blogspot.com
Thursday, July 9, 2009
It's been a good week
It's been a good week on many levels and it started out on Sunday morning with an awesome sermon by Pastor Henrichs. It was so good, and I know that there will be more times that I need to hear it that I had him send me a copy. I am going to ask him if it's OK to post on my blog and if he says "yes", I hope you will check back and take it in. I can't even put it in a nutshell for you, what I can say is it was a reminder that we do not need to be strong. We all have thorns that we may pray, and beg and plead be taken out of our lives and if the answer isn't what we want, it doesn't mean God isn't listening...it's there for a reason.
I have been pursuing "being strong" or getting stronger for years now and it's exhausting and frustrating, yet through it all, God continues to bless me, I am always driven by the sense that there is a greater purpose for me and my life than what I might have mapped out on my own.
This permission to not be strong gave me the willpower to go to the yoga class I had signed up for months ago but was now dreading. I didn't want to be the one person in the room that couldn't do it. I didn't want to be weak and certainly not in front of people I didn't know and who didn't know me. I didn't want to have to explain the reason behind my weakness, I wasn't going to go. I had permission this week to not be strong and I went. I am glad I did. The instructor (a friend of mine from Bunko) gave me some pointers before class. She was encouraging and positive and understanding and all the things I needed for trying something new. I loved it and am looking forward to next Thursday evening.
This week I saw Dr. Cohen. I think we are both comfortable with the fact that although the disease is still there, it is stable on medication. The meds, along with the balance I've achieved between work and home, eating foods that are much better for me, getting rest when I need it and not pushing myself to be what I was but accepting the me that I am creating, all play a part in this. I asked Dr. Cohen if I could start Physical Therapy again and she agreed. My first PT appointment was on Wednesday and I have two appointments per week scheduled for a number of weeks to follow.
Well, although I have a renewed energy after yoga tonight, I also have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, starting with another doctor appointment. I am seeing an opthamologist. One of the medications I take can cause a loss of vision so I need to have an eye exam every six months, I think. I haven't noticed any changes so I am not worried.
Have a wonderful day and remember....you do not have to be strong. God is there to hold you up if you need Him.
Good night.
Kris B
I have been pursuing "being strong" or getting stronger for years now and it's exhausting and frustrating, yet through it all, God continues to bless me, I am always driven by the sense that there is a greater purpose for me and my life than what I might have mapped out on my own.
This permission to not be strong gave me the willpower to go to the yoga class I had signed up for months ago but was now dreading. I didn't want to be the one person in the room that couldn't do it. I didn't want to be weak and certainly not in front of people I didn't know and who didn't know me. I didn't want to have to explain the reason behind my weakness, I wasn't going to go. I had permission this week to not be strong and I went. I am glad I did. The instructor (a friend of mine from Bunko) gave me some pointers before class. She was encouraging and positive and understanding and all the things I needed for trying something new. I loved it and am looking forward to next Thursday evening.
This week I saw Dr. Cohen. I think we are both comfortable with the fact that although the disease is still there, it is stable on medication. The meds, along with the balance I've achieved between work and home, eating foods that are much better for me, getting rest when I need it and not pushing myself to be what I was but accepting the me that I am creating, all play a part in this. I asked Dr. Cohen if I could start Physical Therapy again and she agreed. My first PT appointment was on Wednesday and I have two appointments per week scheduled for a number of weeks to follow.
Well, although I have a renewed energy after yoga tonight, I also have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, starting with another doctor appointment. I am seeing an opthamologist. One of the medications I take can cause a loss of vision so I need to have an eye exam every six months, I think. I haven't noticed any changes so I am not worried.
Have a wonderful day and remember....you do not have to be strong. God is there to hold you up if you need Him.
Good night.
Kris B
Monday, June 29, 2009
Looking ahead
Just re-read my last entry and decided I better get another one out here to let you know how I am doing.
We spent the weekend in Minneapolis with the Klehr family (my sister Sherry, husband Mike, kids, Sam and Maggie) and I have been feeling good. There have been many times over the past couple of years when I had to turn in early or skip on an outing because I didn't have the energy or was afraid of not having the energy. Not this time. We stayed up late, played pool, danced around the newly remodeled basement. We watched some of Sam's baseball tournament games, went to Emma's feis competition, walked the dogs and I even drove a couple hours on our way back home to Milwaukee.
How did I do? Pretty good. There are times when I still need help up when I am sitting on the ground and it takes awhile to get moving after riding in the car. I have aches and pains but they are no longer getting the best of me. For the most part, they are not stopping me.
The other things I did since my last entry:
I followed up with my food coach and she helped me navigate my most recent "detour". I guess that is the best way of describing those times when I get down on myself and allow that to get the best of me...it's a detour. I am still going to reach my destination. I feel comfortable with the food choices I am making and measuring my hunger scale (trying to not wait to eat until I am really hungry and eating only until I am satisfied), keeping the right foods in the house and talking through what I am feeling when I am going to eat something that provides nothing of value to my body.
The next stop on this journey is activity/exercise. I wrote down a single goal. I will exercise every day. This exercise may include walking, swimming, cycling, a DVD, or my physical therapy exercises. I have steps in place to ensure I am successful and I have asked Bill, Emma and Jake to hold me accountable. It may sound silly but I am giving myself a star sticker every time I exercise and I am going to reward myself with a new item of clothes or a manicure every 10 stickers until it becomes the healthy habit I desire.
The other thing I did was research our health insurance. I found a physical therapist that I want to work with and when I have my next appointment with Dr. Cohen (July 7th) I will ask her to write a referral for me to begin physical therapy again. I actually went ahead and made an appointment at Vita Fitness for physical therapy on July 8th. Dr. Cohen has been amazing to work with and I believe she will support this next step. My goal is to work with someone to incorporate weight bearing exercises into my daily life.
So, did I exercise today? I did not.
With that being said, I will head upstairs and do the exercises I received a couple of years ago from another therapist.
Thanks again for checking in. I am pretty sure there were a couple of prayers said for me after that entry and I wanted to let you know they worked.
We spent the weekend in Minneapolis with the Klehr family (my sister Sherry, husband Mike, kids, Sam and Maggie) and I have been feeling good. There have been many times over the past couple of years when I had to turn in early or skip on an outing because I didn't have the energy or was afraid of not having the energy. Not this time. We stayed up late, played pool, danced around the newly remodeled basement. We watched some of Sam's baseball tournament games, went to Emma's feis competition, walked the dogs and I even drove a couple hours on our way back home to Milwaukee.
How did I do? Pretty good. There are times when I still need help up when I am sitting on the ground and it takes awhile to get moving after riding in the car. I have aches and pains but they are no longer getting the best of me. For the most part, they are not stopping me.
The other things I did since my last entry:
I followed up with my food coach and she helped me navigate my most recent "detour". I guess that is the best way of describing those times when I get down on myself and allow that to get the best of me...it's a detour. I am still going to reach my destination. I feel comfortable with the food choices I am making and measuring my hunger scale (trying to not wait to eat until I am really hungry and eating only until I am satisfied), keeping the right foods in the house and talking through what I am feeling when I am going to eat something that provides nothing of value to my body.
The next stop on this journey is activity/exercise. I wrote down a single goal. I will exercise every day. This exercise may include walking, swimming, cycling, a DVD, or my physical therapy exercises. I have steps in place to ensure I am successful and I have asked Bill, Emma and Jake to hold me accountable. It may sound silly but I am giving myself a star sticker every time I exercise and I am going to reward myself with a new item of clothes or a manicure every 10 stickers until it becomes the healthy habit I desire.
The other thing I did was research our health insurance. I found a physical therapist that I want to work with and when I have my next appointment with Dr. Cohen (July 7th) I will ask her to write a referral for me to begin physical therapy again. I actually went ahead and made an appointment at Vita Fitness for physical therapy on July 8th. Dr. Cohen has been amazing to work with and I believe she will support this next step. My goal is to work with someone to incorporate weight bearing exercises into my daily life.
So, did I exercise today? I did not.
With that being said, I will head upstairs and do the exercises I received a couple of years ago from another therapist.
Thanks again for checking in. I am pretty sure there were a couple of prayers said for me after that entry and I wanted to let you know they worked.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
an update
Hello friends,
Sorry that it has been so long since I last posted anything to the blog. I prefer to write when I feel that I have something that needs to be said or maybe something inspiring. Sad to say, that day is not today either but I did need to let you know I was still out here, trying to make the most of each day.
This is the first week that the kids are out of school on summer vacation and I went from feel good to feeling OK and tonight I am very tired.
So far, the hardest thing about summer is that the clothes from last summer came out for the nice weather and they don't fit. I really , really am trying to stay positive. I am really, really trying to look at all the good that has come over the past year and all that I have learned and changed for the better and then I try and find something to wear and all the good quickly fades to something that feels very much like failure. I allow that feeling to be there. It's there for a reason and then I take a deep breath and appreciate that my legs took me for a walk today with my beautiful healthy children and sweet dog. My arms allowed me to hug my husband and I even put it all together and went swimming for 25 minutes tonight.
Deep breath...I am blessed.
Good night.
Kris
Sorry that it has been so long since I last posted anything to the blog. I prefer to write when I feel that I have something that needs to be said or maybe something inspiring. Sad to say, that day is not today either but I did need to let you know I was still out here, trying to make the most of each day.
This is the first week that the kids are out of school on summer vacation and I went from feel good to feeling OK and tonight I am very tired.
So far, the hardest thing about summer is that the clothes from last summer came out for the nice weather and they don't fit. I really , really am trying to stay positive. I am really, really trying to look at all the good that has come over the past year and all that I have learned and changed for the better and then I try and find something to wear and all the good quickly fades to something that feels very much like failure. I allow that feeling to be there. It's there for a reason and then I take a deep breath and appreciate that my legs took me for a walk today with my beautiful healthy children and sweet dog. My arms allowed me to hug my husband and I even put it all together and went swimming for 25 minutes tonight.
Deep breath...I am blessed.
Good night.
Kris
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Do nothing...
Do nothing....are you kidding me? Well, that is step number one in "the Joy diet" by Martha Beck. The next book on my list of books to read. This step actually came up in something else I shared. The 40 things to do to make 2009 great. There must be something to it.
The suggestion is to spend at least 15 minutes a day doing absolutely nothing.
Not mindless things, but nothing and see where your mind takes you. My thought was that it will lead me right to the 50 things I have to do right after I do nothing for 15 minutes. I tried it today and that is not what happened. I thought about my son, Jake for a moment and something we are working through with him. I thought about the upcoming week-end and what it will bring. I thought about the lousy interaction I had with someone I love and what needed to be said to heal. I thought about lightning (and it was a sunny day). I thought about the warmth of having our dog snuggled in next to me. What a wonderful quiet companion.....and so much more.
There is definitely something to be said for doing nothing for fifteen minutes. I am going to find time to do it again tomorrow and see what happens.
As I write this I am finding myself wondering, if you might be wondering how I pick the books I read. I wondered if you might be thinking "there she goes, reading another self help book". I'm not convinced that they are self help books. I believe that I am being lead in a direction that continues to open my mind to so many possibilities. They are books that inspire and make me feel good about choices I have made and inspire me to continuing growing into who I will be.
Update on how I have been feeling...
I have been waking up the past three or four days at 4:00 in the morning. No alarm, just awake. I have been laying there refusing to get up it's way too early and in not too much time I fall back to sleep only to be awaken by the sound of the radio and suddenly not wanting anything to do with waking up. Although I think I feel pretty good at 4:00, I have been feeling lousy at 5:50. My body aches, my muscles are tired, I have a really hard time getting going. It hurts to walk down the stairs in the morning and I find that there are times recently when I become short of breath and then I worry that this disease is planning to become loud in my life instead of the constant simmer that it has been and then I remember that this is part of who I am. This is part of God's plan for me and He has already guided me through some pretty bad days, He is not about to leave me or forsake me.
I could go on, but I just looked at the clock and it's almost 10. If I don't get to bed, 5:50 will be hard for a whole different reason.
Live well, Love Much, Laugh Often ...Believe.
klb
The suggestion is to spend at least 15 minutes a day doing absolutely nothing.
Not mindless things, but nothing and see where your mind takes you. My thought was that it will lead me right to the 50 things I have to do right after I do nothing for 15 minutes. I tried it today and that is not what happened. I thought about my son, Jake for a moment and something we are working through with him. I thought about the upcoming week-end and what it will bring. I thought about the lousy interaction I had with someone I love and what needed to be said to heal. I thought about lightning (and it was a sunny day). I thought about the warmth of having our dog snuggled in next to me. What a wonderful quiet companion.....and so much more.
There is definitely something to be said for doing nothing for fifteen minutes. I am going to find time to do it again tomorrow and see what happens.
As I write this I am finding myself wondering, if you might be wondering how I pick the books I read. I wondered if you might be thinking "there she goes, reading another self help book". I'm not convinced that they are self help books. I believe that I am being lead in a direction that continues to open my mind to so many possibilities. They are books that inspire and make me feel good about choices I have made and inspire me to continuing growing into who I will be.
Update on how I have been feeling...
I have been waking up the past three or four days at 4:00 in the morning. No alarm, just awake. I have been laying there refusing to get up it's way too early and in not too much time I fall back to sleep only to be awaken by the sound of the radio and suddenly not wanting anything to do with waking up. Although I think I feel pretty good at 4:00, I have been feeling lousy at 5:50. My body aches, my muscles are tired, I have a really hard time getting going. It hurts to walk down the stairs in the morning and I find that there are times recently when I become short of breath and then I worry that this disease is planning to become loud in my life instead of the constant simmer that it has been and then I remember that this is part of who I am. This is part of God's plan for me and He has already guided me through some pretty bad days, He is not about to leave me or forsake me.
I could go on, but I just looked at the clock and it's almost 10. If I don't get to bed, 5:50 will be hard for a whole different reason.
Live well, Love Much, Laugh Often ...Believe.
klb
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Note from Dr. Sweeney
Last week I met with Dr. Sweeney to review the drugs I was taking and to see if I might be able to begin the process of weening myself from them. Many of the prescription drugs I take are in place to lessen the effects of other prescriptions and it becomes a crazy circle.
Here's what we decided.
I dropped one prescription completely.
I reduced a prescription to taking one dose in the evening instead of one in the morning and one at night.
I had my blood work tested and in a note I received in the mail from Dr. Sweeney this week it appears that my thyroid is now producing adequate amounts of the right hormone so I don't need to take that prescription anymore. We will test again in six months and see that the thyroid continues to remain stable. I have had a raging headache for about six days now and I will have to look into that but that will not stop me.
So here I am celebrating a success that isn't measured by a scale or the size of my pants.
YEAH !!!
Kris
Here's what we decided.
I dropped one prescription completely.
I reduced a prescription to taking one dose in the evening instead of one in the morning and one at night.
I had my blood work tested and in a note I received in the mail from Dr. Sweeney this week it appears that my thyroid is now producing adequate amounts of the right hormone so I don't need to take that prescription anymore. We will test again in six months and see that the thyroid continues to remain stable. I have had a raging headache for about six days now and I will have to look into that but that will not stop me.
So here I am celebrating a success that isn't measured by a scale or the size of my pants.
YEAH !!!
Kris
Monday, May 18, 2009
Find Your Song - and Sing It !
I finished my book "Throw Out Fifty Things" by Gail Blanke. I liked it, alot.
Chapter 24: Find Your Song and Sing it !
It reads: "You've got to have a song. I mean, has any band of brothers or sisters ever gone into battle, ever gone out to save the world, start a movement, or seize the day without a song? No, the bagpipes, the fifes and drums, the raised voices always went first. We all need a song."
So what's my song? I have no idea. I have a couple of thoughts but nothing I am sure is mine.
My very first thought was "Hark the Voice of Jesus Crying". Oh I love that hymn.
Years ago I used to love to run to the song by Shania Twain, "She's Not Just a Pretty Face" It's a empowering song about women. I could sing that song loud and proud and know I am making a difference, if only it had a different title.
Do you have any thoughts on this? Do you know what your song is? What song would you sing before beginning each new day, before going into that tough meeting at work or before heading into the doctors office for test results? I can't wait to hear what you come up with.
Any thoughts on what my song should be?
I will keep you posted and let you know when I decide.
I think Gail (the author)would be disappointed in me if I kept her book on my shelf. However, I am baby stepping my way through the process so I better hold on to it for a while. You should check it out at your local library or go pick up a copy at your favorite bookstore. By the end of summer I will be ready to loan out my copy. Let me know if you are interested.
The other thing I am working on right now is going back and reviewing the sessions I had with my food coach. The first session had an assignment of writing down my one month, three month and six month goals. I am going to work through this again and see if I can continue to see results. My new one month goals are to walk 3 miles at least three days a week.
I want to have planned weekly meals and I want to journal on a daily basis with a special focus on what foods I am eating, when I am eating them and what the effects those particular foods have on me. Do some foods cause me to be more fatigued? Do some foods cause me to crave sweets? etc.... I know my metobolic type is "mixed" so now I need to figure out what foods are going to work the best for me.
I'll tell you what...the other day rice krispie treats were on sale at the grocery store. 3 boxes (24 treats) for $5.00. I learned that this is a sale I will pass on the next time. I LOVE rice krispie treats and eating just one has been a challenge I have lost. There are no more rice krispie treats in the house...thank goodness.
I have to hop on a conference call now.
Thanks for checking in.
Kris
Chapter 24: Find Your Song and Sing it !
It reads: "You've got to have a song. I mean, has any band of brothers or sisters ever gone into battle, ever gone out to save the world, start a movement, or seize the day without a song? No, the bagpipes, the fifes and drums, the raised voices always went first. We all need a song."
So what's my song? I have no idea. I have a couple of thoughts but nothing I am sure is mine.
My very first thought was "Hark the Voice of Jesus Crying". Oh I love that hymn.
Years ago I used to love to run to the song by Shania Twain, "She's Not Just a Pretty Face" It's a empowering song about women. I could sing that song loud and proud and know I am making a difference, if only it had a different title.
Do you have any thoughts on this? Do you know what your song is? What song would you sing before beginning each new day, before going into that tough meeting at work or before heading into the doctors office for test results? I can't wait to hear what you come up with.
Any thoughts on what my song should be?
I will keep you posted and let you know when I decide.
I think Gail (the author)would be disappointed in me if I kept her book on my shelf. However, I am baby stepping my way through the process so I better hold on to it for a while. You should check it out at your local library or go pick up a copy at your favorite bookstore. By the end of summer I will be ready to loan out my copy. Let me know if you are interested.
The other thing I am working on right now is going back and reviewing the sessions I had with my food coach. The first session had an assignment of writing down my one month, three month and six month goals. I am going to work through this again and see if I can continue to see results. My new one month goals are to walk 3 miles at least three days a week.
I want to have planned weekly meals and I want to journal on a daily basis with a special focus on what foods I am eating, when I am eating them and what the effects those particular foods have on me. Do some foods cause me to be more fatigued? Do some foods cause me to crave sweets? etc.... I know my metobolic type is "mixed" so now I need to figure out what foods are going to work the best for me.
I'll tell you what...the other day rice krispie treats were on sale at the grocery store. 3 boxes (24 treats) for $5.00. I learned that this is a sale I will pass on the next time. I LOVE rice krispie treats and eating just one has been a challenge I have lost. There are no more rice krispie treats in the house...thank goodness.
I have to hop on a conference call now.
Thanks for checking in.
Kris
Friday, May 8, 2009
Tuesday and Friday of this week
On Tuesday of this week I had a mammogram. I had one three years ago when I first got sick. At that time the doctors ordered every kind of test possible and sometimes they were done a couple times to ensure a solid baseline for any future tests. People with myositis and people who take some of the prescription drugs I have taken have a higher risk of certain kinds of cancers.
Anyway, on Tuesday, shortly after I got home, I received a call from the clinic that they wanted me to come back for more pictures and an ultrasound. There were some areas that they found questionable. I told Bill. We prayed. He did some internet surfing. I called my mom and dad and emailed my sisters. Although you can never have too many prayers, I didn't want to worry too many people and I was fearful of overreacting. I hoped that if I played it cool, it would be OK.
A friend of mine is a PA at Froedert in the breast care center so I looked her up on facebook and asked for some information and advise. I am going to share with you what she had to say so that if you or someone you love are ever faced with this second appointment, you might also feel better prepared. I told my friend Kimberly that in addition to being a church friend, I knew God had another purpose for our paths crossing. There are a few other very special things about Kimberly and her family that have God's handprints on them. We are blessed to know them.
Anyway, here is what she told me
As for the mammogram.... In young women, it is very common to get call backs due to the high density of breast tissue. When the radiologist sees dense breasts on mammogram, they like to get extra views - including compression views over those dense areas. If things do not flatten out, an ultasound is used to help locate any abnormal areas in that dense tissue. If they see something on ultrasound, they may want to do an ultrasound guided biopsy to determine exactly what it is (fibroadenoma, cyst, etc). Chances are, you may have a benign fibroadenoma or cyst that looks a little suspicious on the mammogram.
Things to ask, If they are having trouble with the density of the breasts, ask if an MRI would be helpful. MRI of the breast can give a better look in dense breast tissue. Be warned, that if they see things on MRI, the next step is second look ultasound and possible biopsy. If things get confusing, please feel free to call me
Where are you going for your mammograms? Remember, you usually have a choice where you can get things done, so if something doesn't seem right, ask for copies of your films and get a second opinion. Froedtert has a great breast care center that sees patients for any type of breast complaint. Anna Purdy, NP is usually your first contact and she is great! The radiologists are really good and trustworthy too. I don't want to put any other place down, I just know our department is good!
Hope that helps! I will keep you in my prayers! Let me know if you have more questions, OK? :)
Kimberly
Friday morning I was at the clinic for my follow up appointment at 8:10. After a few more compressions/pictures, I waited. The radiologist asked for the ultrasound. It was done and I waited. The doctor came in and said there was nothing to worry about. She did say that because I have a slightly higher risk that she would recommend having mammograms and MRI's rotated every six months and I agreed. By 9:15 I was on my way to work with a smile on my face and a weight off my shoulders and praise in my heart.
I think that's enough for one week.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Kris
Anyway, on Tuesday, shortly after I got home, I received a call from the clinic that they wanted me to come back for more pictures and an ultrasound. There were some areas that they found questionable. I told Bill. We prayed. He did some internet surfing. I called my mom and dad and emailed my sisters. Although you can never have too many prayers, I didn't want to worry too many people and I was fearful of overreacting. I hoped that if I played it cool, it would be OK.
A friend of mine is a PA at Froedert in the breast care center so I looked her up on facebook and asked for some information and advise. I am going to share with you what she had to say so that if you or someone you love are ever faced with this second appointment, you might also feel better prepared. I told my friend Kimberly that in addition to being a church friend, I knew God had another purpose for our paths crossing. There are a few other very special things about Kimberly and her family that have God's handprints on them. We are blessed to know them.
Anyway, here is what she told me
As for the mammogram.... In young women, it is very common to get call backs due to the high density of breast tissue. When the radiologist sees dense breasts on mammogram, they like to get extra views - including compression views over those dense areas. If things do not flatten out, an ultasound is used to help locate any abnormal areas in that dense tissue. If they see something on ultrasound, they may want to do an ultrasound guided biopsy to determine exactly what it is (fibroadenoma, cyst, etc). Chances are, you may have a benign fibroadenoma or cyst that looks a little suspicious on the mammogram.
Things to ask, If they are having trouble with the density of the breasts, ask if an MRI would be helpful. MRI of the breast can give a better look in dense breast tissue. Be warned, that if they see things on MRI, the next step is second look ultasound and possible biopsy. If things get confusing, please feel free to call me
Where are you going for your mammograms? Remember, you usually have a choice where you can get things done, so if something doesn't seem right, ask for copies of your films and get a second opinion. Froedtert has a great breast care center that sees patients for any type of breast complaint. Anna Purdy, NP is usually your first contact and she is great! The radiologists are really good and trustworthy too. I don't want to put any other place down, I just know our department is good!
Hope that helps! I will keep you in my prayers! Let me know if you have more questions, OK? :)
Kimberly
Friday morning I was at the clinic for my follow up appointment at 8:10. After a few more compressions/pictures, I waited. The radiologist asked for the ultrasound. It was done and I waited. The doctor came in and said there was nothing to worry about. She did say that because I have a slightly higher risk that she would recommend having mammograms and MRI's rotated every six months and I agreed. By 9:15 I was on my way to work with a smile on my face and a weight off my shoulders and praise in my heart.
I think that's enough for one week.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Kris
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Throw out fifty things....
I've been reading a book called "Throw Out Fifty Things -Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life" by Gail Blanke
I haven't finish the book yet but it has already inspired me to clean out my dresser and closet and I have gotten rid of nearly everything that doesn't fit. Well almost...it's in the back of the van and will be dropped off by the end of the day tomorrow.
One page in particular (page 102) struck me as being very powerful and empowering. Here's what it says:
"For me, people who live solely on their laurels and accomplishments from the past are a yawn. I don't want to know how wonderful you were in high school or how you used to bicycle twenty miles a day. I want to know: What are you doing with your life today? Looking backward holds no charm for me. What's done is done. Learn from it and move on." ....."There is something to learn here: Whether you are-or were-a VIP or a regular Joe, let the old stuff go. How else will you have room and energy to reinvent and recreate yourself." "I like change and am ready for the next big adventure," Pat says, "which is how I see life- as a series of adventures."
OK, now not one of those above words are mine but I think there is a lot there. As I learn to create my life with Myositis I have been trying to measure my health by what I can and can not do.
Example: Before I got sick I enjoyed completing triathalons. I know I am better when I can participate in them again. Is that really going to be the measure?
Before I got sick I was a size 10. I know I am better when I am back in that shape. Really? I am three years older and my body has been through a lot. I have climbed a hypothetical mountain and I feel as though the top is within my reach.
That's the adventure...the hypothetical mountain.
When I get to the top. I promise you I will enjoy the view and prepare for the next big adventure. I will not go down the mountain the same way I went up or I would end up see everything over again and not something new.
Friends, look ahead. Enjoy the adventure.
Talk to you soon.
Kris
I haven't finish the book yet but it has already inspired me to clean out my dresser and closet and I have gotten rid of nearly everything that doesn't fit. Well almost...it's in the back of the van and will be dropped off by the end of the day tomorrow.
One page in particular (page 102) struck me as being very powerful and empowering. Here's what it says:
"For me, people who live solely on their laurels and accomplishments from the past are a yawn. I don't want to know how wonderful you were in high school or how you used to bicycle twenty miles a day. I want to know: What are you doing with your life today? Looking backward holds no charm for me. What's done is done. Learn from it and move on." ....."There is something to learn here: Whether you are-or were-a VIP or a regular Joe, let the old stuff go. How else will you have room and energy to reinvent and recreate yourself." "I like change and am ready for the next big adventure," Pat says, "which is how I see life- as a series of adventures."
OK, now not one of those above words are mine but I think there is a lot there. As I learn to create my life with Myositis I have been trying to measure my health by what I can and can not do.
Example: Before I got sick I enjoyed completing triathalons. I know I am better when I can participate in them again. Is that really going to be the measure?
Before I got sick I was a size 10. I know I am better when I am back in that shape. Really? I am three years older and my body has been through a lot. I have climbed a hypothetical mountain and I feel as though the top is within my reach.
That's the adventure...the hypothetical mountain.
When I get to the top. I promise you I will enjoy the view and prepare for the next big adventure. I will not go down the mountain the same way I went up or I would end up see everything over again and not something new.
Friends, look ahead. Enjoy the adventure.
Talk to you soon.
Kris
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Acceptance
Through all the ups and downs of the past few years I have met with a professional on occassion to help me cope. Her name is Rose and I met with her again this week and we talked about acceptance. Let me be very clear, acceptance does not mean giving up. It means trying daily to be OK with life as it is today.
I don't like how I look. It's a very hard thing to say outloud and it is a really hard way to live. She asked me to talk to myself as I would talk to a friend. It went something like this...
"Kris, I can't stand how I look. I am trying to eat right, exercise, make healthy choices and still I haven't lost a pound."
Now....what would I say to a friend.
"You are being too hard on yourself. Think of all you have been through. Is there something I can do to help?"
Did you hear that...by offering to help, am I telling my friend that I think she's right.
So many things came to mind during this talk we had.
I have often said that if someone calls me and wants to be sad or mad on the phone, they must know that I am going to offer them ideas and options. Bill has tried to tell me that sometimes people just want to vent, to let it out and have someone be on the receiving end. I've replied back...if that's true, then I am sure they have someone else they could call. By offering a solution, by trying to provide a brighter side or by making lemonade out of lemons what are my actions telling my friend. Guess what friends...I may have become a more compassionate listener today.
The other thing that came to mind when we met was that somewhere, sometime in my life I became goal oriented. I have a hard time going through a day or a week without a plan and if I don't have a plan I feel as though my actions have produced nothing. Nothing got done. On the flip side, I learned that if I have goals and I decide that I will keep working toward that goal no matter how long it takes, am I missing out on everyday joy because I am focused on the expected result?
So back to acceptance...each day I am trying to accept who I am today. I am going to continue to feed my body healthy things and I am going to move (exercise, activity, etc...), and I am going to give my body the rest it requires, and breath deep breathes from my belly and I am going to be grateful. If in my list of things I am grateful for a negative things comes to mind, I will write that down too and then follow it up with that negatives direct opposite. There is an outcome to all of this and it is beautiful.
More to follow...
I don't like how I look. It's a very hard thing to say outloud and it is a really hard way to live. She asked me to talk to myself as I would talk to a friend. It went something like this...
"Kris, I can't stand how I look. I am trying to eat right, exercise, make healthy choices and still I haven't lost a pound."
Now....what would I say to a friend.
"You are being too hard on yourself. Think of all you have been through. Is there something I can do to help?"
Did you hear that...by offering to help, am I telling my friend that I think she's right.
So many things came to mind during this talk we had.
I have often said that if someone calls me and wants to be sad or mad on the phone, they must know that I am going to offer them ideas and options. Bill has tried to tell me that sometimes people just want to vent, to let it out and have someone be on the receiving end. I've replied back...if that's true, then I am sure they have someone else they could call. By offering a solution, by trying to provide a brighter side or by making lemonade out of lemons what are my actions telling my friend. Guess what friends...I may have become a more compassionate listener today.
The other thing that came to mind when we met was that somewhere, sometime in my life I became goal oriented. I have a hard time going through a day or a week without a plan and if I don't have a plan I feel as though my actions have produced nothing. Nothing got done. On the flip side, I learned that if I have goals and I decide that I will keep working toward that goal no matter how long it takes, am I missing out on everyday joy because I am focused on the expected result?
So back to acceptance...each day I am trying to accept who I am today. I am going to continue to feed my body healthy things and I am going to move (exercise, activity, etc...), and I am going to give my body the rest it requires, and breath deep breathes from my belly and I am going to be grateful. If in my list of things I am grateful for a negative things comes to mind, I will write that down too and then follow it up with that negatives direct opposite. There is an outcome to all of this and it is beautiful.
More to follow...
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
37-40 and other updates
37. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: I am thankful
for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life, so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. May your troubles be less. May your blessings be more. May nothing but happiness come through your door!
Well, there we go...40 ways to improve 2009. I hope you found one or two things that will be helpful to you. I wish you happiness, always.
and other updates -
I saw Dr. Cohen last week and we agreed that this is where we will stay. We are not going to try any new drug combinations. We are going to stick with the drug cocktail that I am taking right now. My disease is still simmering but that is better than boiling. I will still have to balance my activities and for now, I am going to love being active with my family and leave the races and finish lines for others. It is time to start teaching myself to measure success in ways that don't include a finish line or the right number on the scale. If I am only going to be satisfied when I get there, I am going to miss out on an amazing number of experiences and the joy, laughter and smiles that come with that.
One of my favorite quotes is "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."- Marcel Proust
On Saturday afternoon I met a woman who has been diagnosed with polymyositis. It's been almost three years now and it finally felt OK to do this. Ginny and I met at the Cheesecake Factory and spent nearly three hours getting to know each other. I've had more experiences with doctors and prescriptions than Ginny has had so far and it was really nice to be able to share what I've learned and support her at this time. We met knowing that we had something in common (myositis) however, after just a few minutes I found out that Ginny knows my mother-in-law as their paths crossed while Pat was working for St. Johns in the activities area. Later in our conversation I found out that Ginny is good friends with Pastor Odden (the pastor that married Bill and I) and then I found out that Ginny goes to church with one of the men I work for. What a small, small world.
Here's how I got to know Ginny....
The Myositis Asscociation has support groups set up across the country called KIT groups. KIT stands for Keeping In Touch. Wisconsin did not have a KIT group and Ginny and I were both interested in attending a meeting so together we are going to get a group up and running in the state of Wisconsin. I have also signed up to be an ambassador for the Myositis Association. My responsibility will be to help/support someone who was recently diagnosed. It's a scary disease, and it's still scary for me but I certainly feel better about it now than I did three years ago.
New topic:
I have to tell you how my "gentle cleanse" turned out. I cheated on day 1 and nibbled on some ham while I was making dinner for the family and I ate a piece of Pizza Hut Pan Pizza that was in the refrigerator that day too. The rest of the week (until Saturday) I was doing great and feeling good. I was not feeling deprived. I didn't feel like I was missing anything and then came Saturday night. I ate movie theatre popcorn, took a bite of Jake's ice cream sandwich and from there I went downhill. And then came Sunday....OUT OF CONTROL. Once I admitted I was out of control I gave myself permission to stay there and enjoy the whole day that way. Guess what happened!!!! I got a giant zit on my chin. I ached more than I have ached in weeks and I did not feel good.
Monday I decided to start over again. Just like last time around, I cheated. I ate ice cream from the carton (it was Kopps Turtle Custard). Today, I feel stronger. It's 3:11 in the afternoon and I haven't cheated.
YIKES... I have to go and pick Emma up from school and take her to piano.
I'll write more later.
Thanks for checking in on me...
klb
for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life, so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. May your troubles be less. May your blessings be more. May nothing but happiness come through your door!
Well, there we go...40 ways to improve 2009. I hope you found one or two things that will be helpful to you. I wish you happiness, always.
and other updates -
I saw Dr. Cohen last week and we agreed that this is where we will stay. We are not going to try any new drug combinations. We are going to stick with the drug cocktail that I am taking right now. My disease is still simmering but that is better than boiling. I will still have to balance my activities and for now, I am going to love being active with my family and leave the races and finish lines for others. It is time to start teaching myself to measure success in ways that don't include a finish line or the right number on the scale. If I am only going to be satisfied when I get there, I am going to miss out on an amazing number of experiences and the joy, laughter and smiles that come with that.
One of my favorite quotes is "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."- Marcel Proust
On Saturday afternoon I met a woman who has been diagnosed with polymyositis. It's been almost three years now and it finally felt OK to do this. Ginny and I met at the Cheesecake Factory and spent nearly three hours getting to know each other. I've had more experiences with doctors and prescriptions than Ginny has had so far and it was really nice to be able to share what I've learned and support her at this time. We met knowing that we had something in common (myositis) however, after just a few minutes I found out that Ginny knows my mother-in-law as their paths crossed while Pat was working for St. Johns in the activities area. Later in our conversation I found out that Ginny is good friends with Pastor Odden (the pastor that married Bill and I) and then I found out that Ginny goes to church with one of the men I work for. What a small, small world.
Here's how I got to know Ginny....
The Myositis Asscociation has support groups set up across the country called KIT groups. KIT stands for Keeping In Touch. Wisconsin did not have a KIT group and Ginny and I were both interested in attending a meeting so together we are going to get a group up and running in the state of Wisconsin. I have also signed up to be an ambassador for the Myositis Association. My responsibility will be to help/support someone who was recently diagnosed. It's a scary disease, and it's still scary for me but I certainly feel better about it now than I did three years ago.
New topic:
I have to tell you how my "gentle cleanse" turned out. I cheated on day 1 and nibbled on some ham while I was making dinner for the family and I ate a piece of Pizza Hut Pan Pizza that was in the refrigerator that day too. The rest of the week (until Saturday) I was doing great and feeling good. I was not feeling deprived. I didn't feel like I was missing anything and then came Saturday night. I ate movie theatre popcorn, took a bite of Jake's ice cream sandwich and from there I went downhill. And then came Sunday....OUT OF CONTROL. Once I admitted I was out of control I gave myself permission to stay there and enjoy the whole day that way. Guess what happened!!!! I got a giant zit on my chin. I ached more than I have ached in weeks and I did not feel good.
Monday I decided to start over again. Just like last time around, I cheated. I ate ice cream from the carton (it was Kopps Turtle Custard). Today, I feel stronger. It's 3:11 in the afternoon and I haven't cheated.
YIKES... I have to go and pick Emma up from school and take her to piano.
I'll write more later.
Thanks for checking in on me...
klb
Monday, March 30, 2009
32-36 and a few other things
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or e-mail them to death!)
and here are a few other things...
Last night I decided that I wanted to really focus on only putting healthy, wonderful, whole foods into my body. My food coach refers to this as a "Gentle Cleanse" For the next 10 days or so I will do my best to avoid processed foods, sugar and artificial sweeteners, wheat, alcohol, processed meats, dairy products, coffee and caffeine and soy products.
YIKES...what's left?
Whole grains - including brown rice, millet and quinoa.
Vegetables and fruits
Nuts and seeds (without added salt)
Beans
Fish/Chicken
Eggs
Water and herbal teas.
I started this morning and I don't know if it's the "gentle cleanse" or what but I have a KICKING headache this afternoon. You know what I almost went for immediately to feel better...Food and not the choices I listed above.
I don't remember if I wrote about this the last time I did it but it was tough and in the end I felt so good, so empowered and in control that I believed I would do it at least once a month or so. If memory serves me correctly, that was last fall. How quickly I turned to what I was used to and what was comfortable and easy. It's OK to be out of your comfort zone, but it definitely takes some self motivation and pushing to do it. I hope to blog the "gentle cleanse" process over the next 10 days or so and document how I am feeling each day...the good, the bad and the ugly.
Today I had a mixture of raw walnuts and raisins, baby carrots and an avocado. For dinner, the carrots will be cooked and I am going to make some quinoa or brown rice add in some yummy spices and drink alot more water.
Well, I am off to check my cupboards, freezer and refrigerator so that I can make a list of what is missing to ensure that I have no excuses standing in the way of this goal.
A goal without a plan is just a dream.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or e-mail them to death!)
and here are a few other things...
Last night I decided that I wanted to really focus on only putting healthy, wonderful, whole foods into my body. My food coach refers to this as a "Gentle Cleanse" For the next 10 days or so I will do my best to avoid processed foods, sugar and artificial sweeteners, wheat, alcohol, processed meats, dairy products, coffee and caffeine and soy products.
YIKES...what's left?
Whole grains - including brown rice, millet and quinoa.
Vegetables and fruits
Nuts and seeds (without added salt)
Beans
Fish/Chicken
Eggs
Water and herbal teas.
I started this morning and I don't know if it's the "gentle cleanse" or what but I have a KICKING headache this afternoon. You know what I almost went for immediately to feel better...Food and not the choices I listed above.
I don't remember if I wrote about this the last time I did it but it was tough and in the end I felt so good, so empowered and in control that I believed I would do it at least once a month or so. If memory serves me correctly, that was last fall. How quickly I turned to what I was used to and what was comfortable and easy. It's OK to be out of your comfort zone, but it definitely takes some self motivation and pushing to do it. I hope to blog the "gentle cleanse" process over the next 10 days or so and document how I am feeling each day...the good, the bad and the ugly.
Today I had a mixture of raw walnuts and raisins, baby carrots and an avocado. For dinner, the carrots will be cooked and I am going to make some quinoa or brown rice add in some yummy spices and drink alot more water.
Well, I am off to check my cupboards, freezer and refrigerator so that I can make a list of what is missing to ensure that I have no excuses standing in the way of this goal.
A goal without a plan is just a dream.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
40 is wonderful, flamingos and all...
Hello friends and family,
Here are five more things to contemplate.
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
Now, let me take just a few moments to tell you what a wonderful week I have had. As many of you know, I do my best to have a positive outlook, to take my days in stride and look at the glass half full. Turning 40 was something I was concerned about. If I could have turned forty a couple years ago when I was feeling my best, that would have been nice. However, that is not how it works and Thank God for that.
As many of you know, I did not want to have a party. I just wanted to turn forty in the quiet of my own home and process it in my own time. My wonderful husband respected that wish but also surprised me. My mailbox has been overflowing with notecards from family and friends and friends of family for a couple of days now. Thank goodness I was at home when I was reading all of them. I was in tears. Happy tears, joyful tears, laughing tears and tears of thanks for all of the wonderful people who have been and still are part of my life.
40 is wonderful.
Thank you to all of you who made it a wonderful day.
Love you all.
Kris
Here are five more things to contemplate.
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
Now, let me take just a few moments to tell you what a wonderful week I have had. As many of you know, I do my best to have a positive outlook, to take my days in stride and look at the glass half full. Turning 40 was something I was concerned about. If I could have turned forty a couple years ago when I was feeling my best, that would have been nice. However, that is not how it works and Thank God for that.
As many of you know, I did not want to have a party. I just wanted to turn forty in the quiet of my own home and process it in my own time. My wonderful husband respected that wish but also surprised me. My mailbox has been overflowing with notecards from family and friends and friends of family for a couple of days now. Thank goodness I was at home when I was reading all of them. I was in tears. Happy tears, joyful tears, laughing tears and tears of thanks for all of the wonderful people who have been and still are part of my life.
40 is wonderful.
Thank you to all of you who made it a wonderful day.
Love you all.
Kris
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Sunday, March 8th
I received a wonderful call from my friend Emily last night. It's been a very long time since we talked and it was so nice to talk to her. She was checking in and mentioned she was enjoying the top 40 things to make 2009 better. I promised her last night that I would get back to the computer and start typing.
Here are five more things to consider...
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
I had to smile when I saw number 21.
This morning Emma and I were getting ready for church. Jake's throwing up and has a fever and Bill is staying home with him because I teach Sunday school. Believe me, he is better with throw up than he would be with seven four year olds.
Anyway, every day I would love to see Emma's beautiful long hair pulled back (out of her face) but on Sunday's I expect it. We were on a roll, weeks have gone by and I haven't even had to ask. Then came this morning...she did not want to pull her hair back. I wasn't going to give in.
I gave in. She got in the car with her hair hanging in her face and I grumbled quietly to myself..."is it really worth it...should something so unimportant be so important to me, should I really have small tears of frustration on a Sunday morning?" Then I prayed that God would always give me the strength and patience to be a good mom. I asked him to guide my way and more importantly to be with Emma guiding her.
Shortly after getting in the car I had the pleasure of asking Emma what her memory work for Sunday School was. Lucky me, it was Colossians 3:20 "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord"
No words were exchanged on that silent ride to church. When I parked the car and opened the door for her, there was a beautiful braid holding her hair away from her face. It's hard to explain how important that moment was for me.
Now, back to my call from Emily. I don't know about you but I think of my friends alot. I wonder how they are doing. I spend time feeling terrible that I missed their birthday or that I have allowed so much time to pass without calling or writing. Instead of using that to propel myself forward and make the call or write the note, I allow myself to get busy with the everyday things and then again, another day passes and I have not connected.
Another friend of mine mentioned that during the season of Lent she doesn't give something up, but instead choses to give. She made a commitment to write a note to at least one person she has been meaning to get in touch with every week during lent. I imagine that the people Beth gets in touch with this Lenten season will feel like I did yesterday when Emily called. It really meant a lot.
I need to sign off now and get some things done around the house, and write a note to a friend I have been meaning to get in touch with.
Thank you for checking in.
Kris B
Here are five more things to consider...
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
I had to smile when I saw number 21.
This morning Emma and I were getting ready for church. Jake's throwing up and has a fever and Bill is staying home with him because I teach Sunday school. Believe me, he is better with throw up than he would be with seven four year olds.
Anyway, every day I would love to see Emma's beautiful long hair pulled back (out of her face) but on Sunday's I expect it. We were on a roll, weeks have gone by and I haven't even had to ask. Then came this morning...she did not want to pull her hair back. I wasn't going to give in.
I gave in. She got in the car with her hair hanging in her face and I grumbled quietly to myself..."is it really worth it...should something so unimportant be so important to me, should I really have small tears of frustration on a Sunday morning?" Then I prayed that God would always give me the strength and patience to be a good mom. I asked him to guide my way and more importantly to be with Emma guiding her.
Shortly after getting in the car I had the pleasure of asking Emma what her memory work for Sunday School was. Lucky me, it was Colossians 3:20 "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord"
No words were exchanged on that silent ride to church. When I parked the car and opened the door for her, there was a beautiful braid holding her hair away from her face. It's hard to explain how important that moment was for me.
Now, back to my call from Emily. I don't know about you but I think of my friends alot. I wonder how they are doing. I spend time feeling terrible that I missed their birthday or that I have allowed so much time to pass without calling or writing. Instead of using that to propel myself forward and make the call or write the note, I allow myself to get busy with the everyday things and then again, another day passes and I have not connected.
Another friend of mine mentioned that during the season of Lent she doesn't give something up, but instead choses to give. She made a commitment to write a note to at least one person she has been meaning to get in touch with every week during lent. I imagine that the people Beth gets in touch with this Lenten season will feel like I did yesterday when Emily called. It really meant a lot.
I need to sign off now and get some things done around the house, and write a note to a friend I have been meaning to get in touch with.
Thank you for checking in.
Kris B
Monday, February 16, 2009
Here come 10
Poo...I missed a week. I don't know where last week went but here are the five things I missed sharing with you last week plus five from this week. For those of you who need to catch up, I am sharing a message I received from my sister regarding 40 tips for a better 2009.
Here are items 10-20.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon,
broccoli, almonds, & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new and
flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, or issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons
you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a college kid
with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
A few things about my health. I am stable. The labs haven't changed enough to require any changes in medication. I am still coming along fine without taking any steroid medication. My doctor is comfortable with labs every 6 weeks instead of every 4 and she is scheduling me now to see her every three months instead of every two months.
This can be viewed two ways:
1) This is as good as it gets
2) This is good
Personally, I am going to chose number 2 however, that is sometimes a challenge. What is most difficult right now is the fatigue that greets me at the end of nearly every day. I move fairly well at work and even do OK now in the afternoon, but once late afternoon hits it takes quite a bit to keep me going. More often than not when Jake and Emma say their "good nights" I am saying mine too. This makes me sad mostly because I miss Bill and our time to talk and plan and dream together.
Bill's fine with this and we do have our days/evenings together. They are just fewer and possibly more cherished.
Here are items 10-20.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon,
broccoli, almonds, & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new and
flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, or issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons
you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a college kid
with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
A few things about my health. I am stable. The labs haven't changed enough to require any changes in medication. I am still coming along fine without taking any steroid medication. My doctor is comfortable with labs every 6 weeks instead of every 4 and she is scheduling me now to see her every three months instead of every two months.
This can be viewed two ways:
1) This is as good as it gets
2) This is good
Personally, I am going to chose number 2 however, that is sometimes a challenge. What is most difficult right now is the fatigue that greets me at the end of nearly every day. I move fairly well at work and even do OK now in the afternoon, but once late afternoon hits it takes quite a bit to keep me going. More often than not when Jake and Emma say their "good nights" I am saying mine too. This makes me sad mostly because I miss Bill and our time to talk and plan and dream together.
Bill's fine with this and we do have our days/evenings together. They are just fewer and possibly more cherished.
Monday, February 2, 2009
The next five...
Here are five more ways to make 2009 one of the best years
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation and/or prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured IN plants.
Consider these things.
I will write more later this week.
klb
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation and/or prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured IN plants.
Consider these things.
I will write more later this week.
klb
Monday, January 26, 2009
5 of 40
I received a wonderful email from my sister recently.
It was titled "40 tips to a better life in 2009" I'm turning 40 in 2009 and I made a resolution to chose healthy living. This is certainly a wonderful guide for me to have.
Here are the first 5. I'd like to know you are coming back to see all 40 so I will do my best to post five every week for the next 8 weeks. This makes it easier to consider and implement if you are interested.
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,
'My purpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
I'll be back soon. I need to use writing to figure out why I chose to try the coffee cake at work this morning, which was followed then by the two remaining Christmas cookies that I uncovered in the pantry, followed by a few shortbread cookies. The final sleeve was opened tonight and they didn't get put back into the freezer so I ate them. Now they are gone. No more temptation.
OK, I guess I am just going to keep on writing.
I have an addiction to sugar. The dessert kind... though it may also be the reason that one glass of wine isn't always enough. I know this yet I still made that stupid choice this morning to feed the temptation with homemade blueberry coffee cake.
I walked by it.
I resisted.
I went back to my desk and announced that it would be a hard thing to avoid and one coworker said "it's fantastic, I couldn't resist it." Another coworker said, "oh, I had to try it too but I only took a one inch square".
A one inch square, now there's an idea. There's a dumb idea for someone who knows how hard it is to stop once I have started. The one inch square was not enough. I went back three times for one inch squares.
Writing is a very strengthening exercise. By writing it down I am getting smarter as to how I will handle that challenge tomorrow, or maybe even later tonight. Write first, wait it out...and then decide if it's really the choice I want to make.
Thanks for checking in on my journey.
Kris B
It was titled "40 tips to a better life in 2009" I'm turning 40 in 2009 and I made a resolution to chose healthy living. This is certainly a wonderful guide for me to have.
Here are the first 5. I'd like to know you are coming back to see all 40 so I will do my best to post five every week for the next 8 weeks. This makes it easier to consider and implement if you are interested.
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,
'My purpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
I'll be back soon. I need to use writing to figure out why I chose to try the coffee cake at work this morning, which was followed then by the two remaining Christmas cookies that I uncovered in the pantry, followed by a few shortbread cookies. The final sleeve was opened tonight and they didn't get put back into the freezer so I ate them. Now they are gone. No more temptation.
OK, I guess I am just going to keep on writing.
I have an addiction to sugar. The dessert kind... though it may also be the reason that one glass of wine isn't always enough. I know this yet I still made that stupid choice this morning to feed the temptation with homemade blueberry coffee cake.
I walked by it.
I resisted.
I went back to my desk and announced that it would be a hard thing to avoid and one coworker said "it's fantastic, I couldn't resist it." Another coworker said, "oh, I had to try it too but I only took a one inch square".
A one inch square, now there's an idea. There's a dumb idea for someone who knows how hard it is to stop once I have started. The one inch square was not enough. I went back three times for one inch squares.
Writing is a very strengthening exercise. By writing it down I am getting smarter as to how I will handle that challenge tomorrow, or maybe even later tonight. Write first, wait it out...and then decide if it's really the choice I want to make.
Thanks for checking in on my journey.
Kris B
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Two in one day?
Well, I know I miss writing and the fact that I am posting twice in one day is proof of that.
What else have I learned?
I learned that you can buy semi-sweet chocolate chips that are sweetened with grain instead of sugar. They are better than the ones we grew up with and for someone like me who has a sugar addiction, easier to keep under control.
I learned that if I start my day off with two large glasses of water, my body wants to drink more water all day long and eat less. This doesn't work if I eat first and drink the water second. I don't know why, but it's something new that I have learned by listening to my body and understanding how it reacts and response to what gets put inside.
Oh, the coolest thing....I learned that in the middle of a cold Wisconsin winter that there are WARM SALAD recipes to enjoy. This week I have had a new one every day of the week. No more regular old iceberg lettuce in our house. Yesterday it was spinach, today it was a rainbow chard, the other day bok choy...with some yummy roasted vegetables or nuts....it's a wonderful dinner on a freezing cold night. Added bonus is the yummy dressings that are homemade and EASY. If you come to the Barger house, you can count on a salad being on the menu. Not too worry about my family, they are still eating too. Bill is still the wonderful cook he has always been.
That's all for now.
Believing,
Kris
What else have I learned?
I learned that you can buy semi-sweet chocolate chips that are sweetened with grain instead of sugar. They are better than the ones we grew up with and for someone like me who has a sugar addiction, easier to keep under control.
I learned that if I start my day off with two large glasses of water, my body wants to drink more water all day long and eat less. This doesn't work if I eat first and drink the water second. I don't know why, but it's something new that I have learned by listening to my body and understanding how it reacts and response to what gets put inside.
Oh, the coolest thing....I learned that in the middle of a cold Wisconsin winter that there are WARM SALAD recipes to enjoy. This week I have had a new one every day of the week. No more regular old iceberg lettuce in our house. Yesterday it was spinach, today it was a rainbow chard, the other day bok choy...with some yummy roasted vegetables or nuts....it's a wonderful dinner on a freezing cold night. Added bonus is the yummy dressings that are homemade and EASY. If you come to the Barger house, you can count on a salad being on the menu. Not too worry about my family, they are still eating too. Bill is still the wonderful cook he has always been.
That's all for now.
Believing,
Kris
Still Believing...
Hello,
It's been a couple weeks and I have learned a couple of new things. Last week I worked 4 six hour days instead of 5 five hour days. I learned that consecutive six hour days is still too much. The first two days I was fine, the third day I felt myself wearing down, the fourth day...needless to say, it took me about four days to recover.
What does that mean?
I was able to do enough to get by and very little extra. On Tuesday, I had to stay home from work and rest.
I also learned that it really makes a difference what I put into my body. I haven't been consuming any artificial sweetners and very little caffenine for quite some time however, the other night I broke down and had a few CC and diet cokes with my husband. Now, it could have been the whiskey but I definitely believe the diet coke had something to do with how awful I felt for days to follow. I don't want to put anything in my body that is going to make me feel like crap and if I do, I have now learned moderation. Believe me, it will never be easy, I will always be practicing, but I know now something about how the amazing body works and what it needs and to be more kind to it.
Well....I have to buzz and get Jake from an after school program.
I will write again, sooner rather than later as there are more things that I have learned that I am looking forward to sharing with you.
Still Believing,
Kris B
It's been a couple weeks and I have learned a couple of new things. Last week I worked 4 six hour days instead of 5 five hour days. I learned that consecutive six hour days is still too much. The first two days I was fine, the third day I felt myself wearing down, the fourth day...needless to say, it took me about four days to recover.
What does that mean?
I was able to do enough to get by and very little extra. On Tuesday, I had to stay home from work and rest.
I also learned that it really makes a difference what I put into my body. I haven't been consuming any artificial sweetners and very little caffenine for quite some time however, the other night I broke down and had a few CC and diet cokes with my husband. Now, it could have been the whiskey but I definitely believe the diet coke had something to do with how awful I felt for days to follow. I don't want to put anything in my body that is going to make me feel like crap and if I do, I have now learned moderation. Believe me, it will never be easy, I will always be practicing, but I know now something about how the amazing body works and what it needs and to be more kind to it.
Well....I have to buzz and get Jake from an after school program.
I will write again, sooner rather than later as there are more things that I have learned that I am looking forward to sharing with you.
Still Believing,
Kris B
Saturday, January 10, 2009
A new year
We are ten days into the new year and ever since we rang in 2009 I have been thinking about catching up with you. Ever year for the past four or five years I have always spent considerable amount of time writing out my goals for the year ahead. I need a plan. I need goals.
This year however, I did not write out my goals. I simply made a statement to live by.
"I will chose to live a healthy life."
The greatest example so far are the wonderful walks I have been taking since we welcomed "Star" into our family on the Saturday following Christmas. She was a gift to Emma and Jake from Bill and I, however, we have all come to love her for very different reasons. I love my new walking partner. Who would of thought a K9 companion could be an exercise accountability partner?
This week, it was my fortunate luck to be watching Oprah when she talked about her struggles with weight. One particular statement she made was so powerful and personal for me....she said that she needs to love the body that she is in. She needs to remember that the body she currently has is the same body that continues to have a heart that beats and lungs that breathe and God's blessing her with these working organs and another day. All of this regardless of how she treats it. Regardless of the medications, regardless of what food she choses, regardless....her heart still beats, her lungs still breathe, now why in the world would anyone chose to give anything less to than the best to this amazing and loving body.
All of a sudden, "chosing to be healthy" just got a little easier.
Well, Star is seeking my attention so off I go...more on chosing to be healthy to follow in the days and weeks to come.
klb
This year however, I did not write out my goals. I simply made a statement to live by.
"I will chose to live a healthy life."
The greatest example so far are the wonderful walks I have been taking since we welcomed "Star" into our family on the Saturday following Christmas. She was a gift to Emma and Jake from Bill and I, however, we have all come to love her for very different reasons. I love my new walking partner. Who would of thought a K9 companion could be an exercise accountability partner?
This week, it was my fortunate luck to be watching Oprah when she talked about her struggles with weight. One particular statement she made was so powerful and personal for me....she said that she needs to love the body that she is in. She needs to remember that the body she currently has is the same body that continues to have a heart that beats and lungs that breathe and God's blessing her with these working organs and another day. All of this regardless of how she treats it. Regardless of the medications, regardless of what food she choses, regardless....her heart still beats, her lungs still breathe, now why in the world would anyone chose to give anything less to than the best to this amazing and loving body.
All of a sudden, "chosing to be healthy" just got a little easier.
Well, Star is seeking my attention so off I go...more on chosing to be healthy to follow in the days and weeks to come.
klb
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