Just re-read my last entry and decided I better get another one out here to let you know how I am doing.
We spent the weekend in Minneapolis with the Klehr family (my sister Sherry, husband Mike, kids, Sam and Maggie) and I have been feeling good. There have been many times over the past couple of years when I had to turn in early or skip on an outing because I didn't have the energy or was afraid of not having the energy. Not this time. We stayed up late, played pool, danced around the newly remodeled basement. We watched some of Sam's baseball tournament games, went to Emma's feis competition, walked the dogs and I even drove a couple hours on our way back home to Milwaukee.
How did I do? Pretty good. There are times when I still need help up when I am sitting on the ground and it takes awhile to get moving after riding in the car. I have aches and pains but they are no longer getting the best of me. For the most part, they are not stopping me.
The other things I did since my last entry:
I followed up with my food coach and she helped me navigate my most recent "detour". I guess that is the best way of describing those times when I get down on myself and allow that to get the best of me...it's a detour. I am still going to reach my destination. I feel comfortable with the food choices I am making and measuring my hunger scale (trying to not wait to eat until I am really hungry and eating only until I am satisfied), keeping the right foods in the house and talking through what I am feeling when I am going to eat something that provides nothing of value to my body.
The next stop on this journey is activity/exercise. I wrote down a single goal. I will exercise every day. This exercise may include walking, swimming, cycling, a DVD, or my physical therapy exercises. I have steps in place to ensure I am successful and I have asked Bill, Emma and Jake to hold me accountable. It may sound silly but I am giving myself a star sticker every time I exercise and I am going to reward myself with a new item of clothes or a manicure every 10 stickers until it becomes the healthy habit I desire.
The other thing I did was research our health insurance. I found a physical therapist that I want to work with and when I have my next appointment with Dr. Cohen (July 7th) I will ask her to write a referral for me to begin physical therapy again. I actually went ahead and made an appointment at Vita Fitness for physical therapy on July 8th. Dr. Cohen has been amazing to work with and I believe she will support this next step. My goal is to work with someone to incorporate weight bearing exercises into my daily life.
So, did I exercise today? I did not.
With that being said, I will head upstairs and do the exercises I received a couple of years ago from another therapist.
Thanks again for checking in. I am pretty sure there were a couple of prayers said for me after that entry and I wanted to let you know they worked.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
an update
Hello friends,
Sorry that it has been so long since I last posted anything to the blog. I prefer to write when I feel that I have something that needs to be said or maybe something inspiring. Sad to say, that day is not today either but I did need to let you know I was still out here, trying to make the most of each day.
This is the first week that the kids are out of school on summer vacation and I went from feel good to feeling OK and tonight I am very tired.
So far, the hardest thing about summer is that the clothes from last summer came out for the nice weather and they don't fit. I really , really am trying to stay positive. I am really, really trying to look at all the good that has come over the past year and all that I have learned and changed for the better and then I try and find something to wear and all the good quickly fades to something that feels very much like failure. I allow that feeling to be there. It's there for a reason and then I take a deep breath and appreciate that my legs took me for a walk today with my beautiful healthy children and sweet dog. My arms allowed me to hug my husband and I even put it all together and went swimming for 25 minutes tonight.
Deep breath...I am blessed.
Good night.
Kris
Sorry that it has been so long since I last posted anything to the blog. I prefer to write when I feel that I have something that needs to be said or maybe something inspiring. Sad to say, that day is not today either but I did need to let you know I was still out here, trying to make the most of each day.
This is the first week that the kids are out of school on summer vacation and I went from feel good to feeling OK and tonight I am very tired.
So far, the hardest thing about summer is that the clothes from last summer came out for the nice weather and they don't fit. I really , really am trying to stay positive. I am really, really trying to look at all the good that has come over the past year and all that I have learned and changed for the better and then I try and find something to wear and all the good quickly fades to something that feels very much like failure. I allow that feeling to be there. It's there for a reason and then I take a deep breath and appreciate that my legs took me for a walk today with my beautiful healthy children and sweet dog. My arms allowed me to hug my husband and I even put it all together and went swimming for 25 minutes tonight.
Deep breath...I am blessed.
Good night.
Kris
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Do nothing...
Do nothing....are you kidding me? Well, that is step number one in "the Joy diet" by Martha Beck. The next book on my list of books to read. This step actually came up in something else I shared. The 40 things to do to make 2009 great. There must be something to it.
The suggestion is to spend at least 15 minutes a day doing absolutely nothing.
Not mindless things, but nothing and see where your mind takes you. My thought was that it will lead me right to the 50 things I have to do right after I do nothing for 15 minutes. I tried it today and that is not what happened. I thought about my son, Jake for a moment and something we are working through with him. I thought about the upcoming week-end and what it will bring. I thought about the lousy interaction I had with someone I love and what needed to be said to heal. I thought about lightning (and it was a sunny day). I thought about the warmth of having our dog snuggled in next to me. What a wonderful quiet companion.....and so much more.
There is definitely something to be said for doing nothing for fifteen minutes. I am going to find time to do it again tomorrow and see what happens.
As I write this I am finding myself wondering, if you might be wondering how I pick the books I read. I wondered if you might be thinking "there she goes, reading another self help book". I'm not convinced that they are self help books. I believe that I am being lead in a direction that continues to open my mind to so many possibilities. They are books that inspire and make me feel good about choices I have made and inspire me to continuing growing into who I will be.
Update on how I have been feeling...
I have been waking up the past three or four days at 4:00 in the morning. No alarm, just awake. I have been laying there refusing to get up it's way too early and in not too much time I fall back to sleep only to be awaken by the sound of the radio and suddenly not wanting anything to do with waking up. Although I think I feel pretty good at 4:00, I have been feeling lousy at 5:50. My body aches, my muscles are tired, I have a really hard time getting going. It hurts to walk down the stairs in the morning and I find that there are times recently when I become short of breath and then I worry that this disease is planning to become loud in my life instead of the constant simmer that it has been and then I remember that this is part of who I am. This is part of God's plan for me and He has already guided me through some pretty bad days, He is not about to leave me or forsake me.
I could go on, but I just looked at the clock and it's almost 10. If I don't get to bed, 5:50 will be hard for a whole different reason.
Live well, Love Much, Laugh Often ...Believe.
klb
The suggestion is to spend at least 15 minutes a day doing absolutely nothing.
Not mindless things, but nothing and see where your mind takes you. My thought was that it will lead me right to the 50 things I have to do right after I do nothing for 15 minutes. I tried it today and that is not what happened. I thought about my son, Jake for a moment and something we are working through with him. I thought about the upcoming week-end and what it will bring. I thought about the lousy interaction I had with someone I love and what needed to be said to heal. I thought about lightning (and it was a sunny day). I thought about the warmth of having our dog snuggled in next to me. What a wonderful quiet companion.....and so much more.
There is definitely something to be said for doing nothing for fifteen minutes. I am going to find time to do it again tomorrow and see what happens.
As I write this I am finding myself wondering, if you might be wondering how I pick the books I read. I wondered if you might be thinking "there she goes, reading another self help book". I'm not convinced that they are self help books. I believe that I am being lead in a direction that continues to open my mind to so many possibilities. They are books that inspire and make me feel good about choices I have made and inspire me to continuing growing into who I will be.
Update on how I have been feeling...
I have been waking up the past three or four days at 4:00 in the morning. No alarm, just awake. I have been laying there refusing to get up it's way too early and in not too much time I fall back to sleep only to be awaken by the sound of the radio and suddenly not wanting anything to do with waking up. Although I think I feel pretty good at 4:00, I have been feeling lousy at 5:50. My body aches, my muscles are tired, I have a really hard time getting going. It hurts to walk down the stairs in the morning and I find that there are times recently when I become short of breath and then I worry that this disease is planning to become loud in my life instead of the constant simmer that it has been and then I remember that this is part of who I am. This is part of God's plan for me and He has already guided me through some pretty bad days, He is not about to leave me or forsake me.
I could go on, but I just looked at the clock and it's almost 10. If I don't get to bed, 5:50 will be hard for a whole different reason.
Live well, Love Much, Laugh Often ...Believe.
klb
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Note from Dr. Sweeney
Last week I met with Dr. Sweeney to review the drugs I was taking and to see if I might be able to begin the process of weening myself from them. Many of the prescription drugs I take are in place to lessen the effects of other prescriptions and it becomes a crazy circle.
Here's what we decided.
I dropped one prescription completely.
I reduced a prescription to taking one dose in the evening instead of one in the morning and one at night.
I had my blood work tested and in a note I received in the mail from Dr. Sweeney this week it appears that my thyroid is now producing adequate amounts of the right hormone so I don't need to take that prescription anymore. We will test again in six months and see that the thyroid continues to remain stable. I have had a raging headache for about six days now and I will have to look into that but that will not stop me.
So here I am celebrating a success that isn't measured by a scale or the size of my pants.
YEAH !!!
Kris
Here's what we decided.
I dropped one prescription completely.
I reduced a prescription to taking one dose in the evening instead of one in the morning and one at night.
I had my blood work tested and in a note I received in the mail from Dr. Sweeney this week it appears that my thyroid is now producing adequate amounts of the right hormone so I don't need to take that prescription anymore. We will test again in six months and see that the thyroid continues to remain stable. I have had a raging headache for about six days now and I will have to look into that but that will not stop me.
So here I am celebrating a success that isn't measured by a scale or the size of my pants.
YEAH !!!
Kris
Monday, May 18, 2009
Find Your Song - and Sing It !
I finished my book "Throw Out Fifty Things" by Gail Blanke. I liked it, alot.
Chapter 24: Find Your Song and Sing it !
It reads: "You've got to have a song. I mean, has any band of brothers or sisters ever gone into battle, ever gone out to save the world, start a movement, or seize the day without a song? No, the bagpipes, the fifes and drums, the raised voices always went first. We all need a song."
So what's my song? I have no idea. I have a couple of thoughts but nothing I am sure is mine.
My very first thought was "Hark the Voice of Jesus Crying". Oh I love that hymn.
Years ago I used to love to run to the song by Shania Twain, "She's Not Just a Pretty Face" It's a empowering song about women. I could sing that song loud and proud and know I am making a difference, if only it had a different title.
Do you have any thoughts on this? Do you know what your song is? What song would you sing before beginning each new day, before going into that tough meeting at work or before heading into the doctors office for test results? I can't wait to hear what you come up with.
Any thoughts on what my song should be?
I will keep you posted and let you know when I decide.
I think Gail (the author)would be disappointed in me if I kept her book on my shelf. However, I am baby stepping my way through the process so I better hold on to it for a while. You should check it out at your local library or go pick up a copy at your favorite bookstore. By the end of summer I will be ready to loan out my copy. Let me know if you are interested.
The other thing I am working on right now is going back and reviewing the sessions I had with my food coach. The first session had an assignment of writing down my one month, three month and six month goals. I am going to work through this again and see if I can continue to see results. My new one month goals are to walk 3 miles at least three days a week.
I want to have planned weekly meals and I want to journal on a daily basis with a special focus on what foods I am eating, when I am eating them and what the effects those particular foods have on me. Do some foods cause me to be more fatigued? Do some foods cause me to crave sweets? etc.... I know my metobolic type is "mixed" so now I need to figure out what foods are going to work the best for me.
I'll tell you what...the other day rice krispie treats were on sale at the grocery store. 3 boxes (24 treats) for $5.00. I learned that this is a sale I will pass on the next time. I LOVE rice krispie treats and eating just one has been a challenge I have lost. There are no more rice krispie treats in the house...thank goodness.
I have to hop on a conference call now.
Thanks for checking in.
Kris
Chapter 24: Find Your Song and Sing it !
It reads: "You've got to have a song. I mean, has any band of brothers or sisters ever gone into battle, ever gone out to save the world, start a movement, or seize the day without a song? No, the bagpipes, the fifes and drums, the raised voices always went first. We all need a song."
So what's my song? I have no idea. I have a couple of thoughts but nothing I am sure is mine.
My very first thought was "Hark the Voice of Jesus Crying". Oh I love that hymn.
Years ago I used to love to run to the song by Shania Twain, "She's Not Just a Pretty Face" It's a empowering song about women. I could sing that song loud and proud and know I am making a difference, if only it had a different title.
Do you have any thoughts on this? Do you know what your song is? What song would you sing before beginning each new day, before going into that tough meeting at work or before heading into the doctors office for test results? I can't wait to hear what you come up with.
Any thoughts on what my song should be?
I will keep you posted and let you know when I decide.
I think Gail (the author)would be disappointed in me if I kept her book on my shelf. However, I am baby stepping my way through the process so I better hold on to it for a while. You should check it out at your local library or go pick up a copy at your favorite bookstore. By the end of summer I will be ready to loan out my copy. Let me know if you are interested.
The other thing I am working on right now is going back and reviewing the sessions I had with my food coach. The first session had an assignment of writing down my one month, three month and six month goals. I am going to work through this again and see if I can continue to see results. My new one month goals are to walk 3 miles at least three days a week.
I want to have planned weekly meals and I want to journal on a daily basis with a special focus on what foods I am eating, when I am eating them and what the effects those particular foods have on me. Do some foods cause me to be more fatigued? Do some foods cause me to crave sweets? etc.... I know my metobolic type is "mixed" so now I need to figure out what foods are going to work the best for me.
I'll tell you what...the other day rice krispie treats were on sale at the grocery store. 3 boxes (24 treats) for $5.00. I learned that this is a sale I will pass on the next time. I LOVE rice krispie treats and eating just one has been a challenge I have lost. There are no more rice krispie treats in the house...thank goodness.
I have to hop on a conference call now.
Thanks for checking in.
Kris
Friday, May 8, 2009
Tuesday and Friday of this week
On Tuesday of this week I had a mammogram. I had one three years ago when I first got sick. At that time the doctors ordered every kind of test possible and sometimes they were done a couple times to ensure a solid baseline for any future tests. People with myositis and people who take some of the prescription drugs I have taken have a higher risk of certain kinds of cancers.
Anyway, on Tuesday, shortly after I got home, I received a call from the clinic that they wanted me to come back for more pictures and an ultrasound. There were some areas that they found questionable. I told Bill. We prayed. He did some internet surfing. I called my mom and dad and emailed my sisters. Although you can never have too many prayers, I didn't want to worry too many people and I was fearful of overreacting. I hoped that if I played it cool, it would be OK.
A friend of mine is a PA at Froedert in the breast care center so I looked her up on facebook and asked for some information and advise. I am going to share with you what she had to say so that if you or someone you love are ever faced with this second appointment, you might also feel better prepared. I told my friend Kimberly that in addition to being a church friend, I knew God had another purpose for our paths crossing. There are a few other very special things about Kimberly and her family that have God's handprints on them. We are blessed to know them.
Anyway, here is what she told me
As for the mammogram.... In young women, it is very common to get call backs due to the high density of breast tissue. When the radiologist sees dense breasts on mammogram, they like to get extra views - including compression views over those dense areas. If things do not flatten out, an ultasound is used to help locate any abnormal areas in that dense tissue. If they see something on ultrasound, they may want to do an ultrasound guided biopsy to determine exactly what it is (fibroadenoma, cyst, etc). Chances are, you may have a benign fibroadenoma or cyst that looks a little suspicious on the mammogram.
Things to ask, If they are having trouble with the density of the breasts, ask if an MRI would be helpful. MRI of the breast can give a better look in dense breast tissue. Be warned, that if they see things on MRI, the next step is second look ultasound and possible biopsy. If things get confusing, please feel free to call me
Where are you going for your mammograms? Remember, you usually have a choice where you can get things done, so if something doesn't seem right, ask for copies of your films and get a second opinion. Froedtert has a great breast care center that sees patients for any type of breast complaint. Anna Purdy, NP is usually your first contact and she is great! The radiologists are really good and trustworthy too. I don't want to put any other place down, I just know our department is good!
Hope that helps! I will keep you in my prayers! Let me know if you have more questions, OK? :)
Kimberly
Friday morning I was at the clinic for my follow up appointment at 8:10. After a few more compressions/pictures, I waited. The radiologist asked for the ultrasound. It was done and I waited. The doctor came in and said there was nothing to worry about. She did say that because I have a slightly higher risk that she would recommend having mammograms and MRI's rotated every six months and I agreed. By 9:15 I was on my way to work with a smile on my face and a weight off my shoulders and praise in my heart.
I think that's enough for one week.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Kris
Anyway, on Tuesday, shortly after I got home, I received a call from the clinic that they wanted me to come back for more pictures and an ultrasound. There were some areas that they found questionable. I told Bill. We prayed. He did some internet surfing. I called my mom and dad and emailed my sisters. Although you can never have too many prayers, I didn't want to worry too many people and I was fearful of overreacting. I hoped that if I played it cool, it would be OK.
A friend of mine is a PA at Froedert in the breast care center so I looked her up on facebook and asked for some information and advise. I am going to share with you what she had to say so that if you or someone you love are ever faced with this second appointment, you might also feel better prepared. I told my friend Kimberly that in addition to being a church friend, I knew God had another purpose for our paths crossing. There are a few other very special things about Kimberly and her family that have God's handprints on them. We are blessed to know them.
Anyway, here is what she told me
As for the mammogram.... In young women, it is very common to get call backs due to the high density of breast tissue. When the radiologist sees dense breasts on mammogram, they like to get extra views - including compression views over those dense areas. If things do not flatten out, an ultasound is used to help locate any abnormal areas in that dense tissue. If they see something on ultrasound, they may want to do an ultrasound guided biopsy to determine exactly what it is (fibroadenoma, cyst, etc). Chances are, you may have a benign fibroadenoma or cyst that looks a little suspicious on the mammogram.
Things to ask, If they are having trouble with the density of the breasts, ask if an MRI would be helpful. MRI of the breast can give a better look in dense breast tissue. Be warned, that if they see things on MRI, the next step is second look ultasound and possible biopsy. If things get confusing, please feel free to call me
Where are you going for your mammograms? Remember, you usually have a choice where you can get things done, so if something doesn't seem right, ask for copies of your films and get a second opinion. Froedtert has a great breast care center that sees patients for any type of breast complaint. Anna Purdy, NP is usually your first contact and she is great! The radiologists are really good and trustworthy too. I don't want to put any other place down, I just know our department is good!
Hope that helps! I will keep you in my prayers! Let me know if you have more questions, OK? :)
Kimberly
Friday morning I was at the clinic for my follow up appointment at 8:10. After a few more compressions/pictures, I waited. The radiologist asked for the ultrasound. It was done and I waited. The doctor came in and said there was nothing to worry about. She did say that because I have a slightly higher risk that she would recommend having mammograms and MRI's rotated every six months and I agreed. By 9:15 I was on my way to work with a smile on my face and a weight off my shoulders and praise in my heart.
I think that's enough for one week.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Kris
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Throw out fifty things....
I've been reading a book called "Throw Out Fifty Things -Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life" by Gail Blanke
I haven't finish the book yet but it has already inspired me to clean out my dresser and closet and I have gotten rid of nearly everything that doesn't fit. Well almost...it's in the back of the van and will be dropped off by the end of the day tomorrow.
One page in particular (page 102) struck me as being very powerful and empowering. Here's what it says:
"For me, people who live solely on their laurels and accomplishments from the past are a yawn. I don't want to know how wonderful you were in high school or how you used to bicycle twenty miles a day. I want to know: What are you doing with your life today? Looking backward holds no charm for me. What's done is done. Learn from it and move on." ....."There is something to learn here: Whether you are-or were-a VIP or a regular Joe, let the old stuff go. How else will you have room and energy to reinvent and recreate yourself." "I like change and am ready for the next big adventure," Pat says, "which is how I see life- as a series of adventures."
OK, now not one of those above words are mine but I think there is a lot there. As I learn to create my life with Myositis I have been trying to measure my health by what I can and can not do.
Example: Before I got sick I enjoyed completing triathalons. I know I am better when I can participate in them again. Is that really going to be the measure?
Before I got sick I was a size 10. I know I am better when I am back in that shape. Really? I am three years older and my body has been through a lot. I have climbed a hypothetical mountain and I feel as though the top is within my reach.
That's the adventure...the hypothetical mountain.
When I get to the top. I promise you I will enjoy the view and prepare for the next big adventure. I will not go down the mountain the same way I went up or I would end up see everything over again and not something new.
Friends, look ahead. Enjoy the adventure.
Talk to you soon.
Kris
I haven't finish the book yet but it has already inspired me to clean out my dresser and closet and I have gotten rid of nearly everything that doesn't fit. Well almost...it's in the back of the van and will be dropped off by the end of the day tomorrow.
One page in particular (page 102) struck me as being very powerful and empowering. Here's what it says:
"For me, people who live solely on their laurels and accomplishments from the past are a yawn. I don't want to know how wonderful you were in high school or how you used to bicycle twenty miles a day. I want to know: What are you doing with your life today? Looking backward holds no charm for me. What's done is done. Learn from it and move on." ....."There is something to learn here: Whether you are-or were-a VIP or a regular Joe, let the old stuff go. How else will you have room and energy to reinvent and recreate yourself." "I like change and am ready for the next big adventure," Pat says, "which is how I see life- as a series of adventures."
OK, now not one of those above words are mine but I think there is a lot there. As I learn to create my life with Myositis I have been trying to measure my health by what I can and can not do.
Example: Before I got sick I enjoyed completing triathalons. I know I am better when I can participate in them again. Is that really going to be the measure?
Before I got sick I was a size 10. I know I am better when I am back in that shape. Really? I am three years older and my body has been through a lot. I have climbed a hypothetical mountain and I feel as though the top is within my reach.
That's the adventure...the hypothetical mountain.
When I get to the top. I promise you I will enjoy the view and prepare for the next big adventure. I will not go down the mountain the same way I went up or I would end up see everything over again and not something new.
Friends, look ahead. Enjoy the adventure.
Talk to you soon.
Kris
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