Acceptance

Through all the ups and downs of the past few years I have met with a professional on occassion to help me cope. Her name is Rose and I met with her again this week and we talked about acceptance. Let me be very clear, acceptance does not mean giving up. It means trying daily to be OK with life as it is today.
I don't like how I look. It's a very hard thing to say outloud and it is a really hard way to live. She asked me to talk to myself as I would talk to a friend. It went something like this...
"Kris, I can't stand how I look. I am trying to eat right, exercise, make healthy choices and still I haven't lost a pound."
Now....what would I say to a friend.
"You are being too hard on yourself. Think of all you have been through. Is there something I can do to help?"
Did you hear that...by offering to help, am I telling my friend that I think she's right.

So many things came to mind during this talk we had.

I have often said that if someone calls me and wants to be sad or mad on the phone, they must know that I am going to offer them ideas and options. Bill has tried to tell me that sometimes people just want to vent, to let it out and have someone be on the receiving end. I've replied back...if that's true, then I am sure they have someone else they could call. By offering a solution, by trying to provide a brighter side or by making lemonade out of lemons what are my actions telling my friend. Guess what friends...I may have become a more compassionate listener today.

The other thing that came to mind when we met was that somewhere, sometime in my life I became goal oriented. I have a hard time going through a day or a week without a plan and if I don't have a plan I feel as though my actions have produced nothing. Nothing got done. On the flip side, I learned that if I have goals and I decide that I will keep working toward that goal no matter how long it takes, am I missing out on everyday joy because I am focused on the expected result?

So back to acceptance...each day I am trying to accept who I am today. I am going to continue to feed my body healthy things and I am going to move (exercise, activity, etc...), and I am going to give my body the rest it requires, and breath deep breathes from my belly and I am going to be grateful. If in my list of things I am grateful for a negative things comes to mind, I will write that down too and then follow it up with that negatives direct opposite. There is an outcome to all of this and it is beautiful.

More to follow...