Monday update

Hello,
It's Monday, early evening and I am exhausted.
I didn't rest yesterday and although I felt really good all day it caught up with me around 3:00 this afternoon. The kids were wonderful and agreed to stay in the house and watch a movie with me but none of us closed our eyes. When Bill gets home I will rest for an hour or so and then get back up so that I don't mess with tonights sleep.
I do feel good though. I think I may finally be feeling the full benefits of the methotrexate. The past three days I've walked down the stairs in the morning with much more ease and much less pain.
Not sure if I mentioned this before but since I returned to work a number of people have commented on how much better I look. This concerned me of course because I didn't think anyone could tell I wasn't well. Bill said it wasn't so much that I looked sick but I looked worn out. I guess it's better not to question a compliment.
This week I will continue to work from 8:00 AM -2:00 PM. I'm not certain how I am going to sneak a nap in there but I am confident that we will figure it out. That might be a good hour for everyone to rest and/or read books in their rooms.

I hope you all have a great week.
I will keep you posted.
Kris

YIKES

Sorry about the last blog.
As you will notice, I didn't do a very good job proof reading before I posted it.

This past week a coworker gave me the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne.
I am only on page 16 but so far it's full of inspiring, "can do", words. In the early stages of the book it talks about the law of attraction. "When you become aware of this great law, then you become aware of how incredibly powerful you are, to be able to think your life into existence."
There is definitely something to this.
I know that when I wake up in the morning and say something like "oh I feel like crap" guess what?
If I start the day out with "thank God for this beautiful day !" guess what?
You guessed it. Thoughts are very powerful.
Since I got sick, I have been saying that I have this "feeling" that I am being called to do "something great". If only five out of a million people in the United States are diagnosed with Myositis each year, then it happened to me for a reason. That being said, I just opened up "the Secret" to page 84 and you know what it says....
"Our job is not to figure out the how. The how will show up out of a commitment and belief in the what." -Jack Canfield-

Health Update: I went to the doctor on Friday morning as I had a few symptoms that I was concerned about. Good news is everything is treatable and nothing to worry about. Here's the deal about autoimmune diseases, they like to outdo each other. Often a person with an autoimmune disease will get others. That is why it's so important to not ignore symptoms are push them off to deal with another day.
You only have on body and only one life so don't take silly chances, TAKE CARE.

I'll let you know how tomorrow is. I was going to give myself my shot when I got home from work but I was so tired I went right to bed. I'm disappointed in that as I don't want to spend tomorrow in bed while my family plays.

A lightbulb moment - When I wake up I will feel great and thank God for a beautiful day. I'll let you know how that goes.

Kris

Today is Wednesday, July 25th.
This morning I started my morning with a "wellness" program at work. It was a class on strengthening your core. It was difficult to be in a group with my peers and not be able to do all the exercises that the instructor was showing us. I suppose not everyone needs to know what I am dealing with. I am fairly certain no one else cared what I could do or what I couldn't do but it sure would make it a lot easier for me if everyone knew. It's not a secret of course but it doesn't come up in casual conversation either.
After each wellness session we are asked to provide ideas for future classes. This provided a great opportunity for me to share my insights on the importance of collecting your family health history.
Have you done this yet?
Start.
Start with something, yourself, your children, your parents, somewhere. I'll continue to noodle on how to create a template for that. Once I figure that out I will email to my distribution list and then everyone who receives it can do the same thing.
On Friday morning I am going to see my doctor. I am having a few stomach issues. They are probably nothing and are most likely related to all the medication but she wants to see me none the less to rule out the possibility of an infection. Two of the medicines I take are immunosuppressive drugs which means that my immune system is compromised. I am not too worried about it though I do feel a bit crazy having to call the doctor about every questionable thing.
As I mentioned, today is Wednesday. On my list of things to do today is a day for a cardio activity. I figured if I wrote it down I would be accountable so, off I go.
It's 8:15 PM. It's very humid outside but I am going for a walk.
I was trying to find a quote to write down without having to leave my computer. Here's the ABC's I have on a plaque in the kitchen.
Accept difference-Be kind-Count your blessings-Dream-Express thanks-Forgive-Give freely-Harm no one-Imagine more-Jettison anger-Keep confidences-Imagine more-Master something-Nurture hope-Open your mind-Pack Lightly-Quell Rumors-Reciprocate-Seek wisdom-Touch hearts-Understand-Value truth-Win graciously-Xeriscape-Yearn for peace-Zealously support a worthy cause.
Good Night.
Kris

Sunday, July 22nd

I spent the majority of the day in bed today. I believe it is the effects of the methotrexate injection yesterday but will keep track via the blog entries to see how I might be able to improve this.
Yesterday I gave myself my injection at 6:00 PM.
Met some wonderful friends out for dinner. It had been way too long since we were out with this group of people and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
We were home by 11:30 and I was in bed by midnight.
Either seven hours of sleep was not enough or it was the medicine or a combination of both because although I attempted to get up and get moving that lasted all of about an hour and a half and I was back in bed by 9:30 AM. Most of you know this but it never hurts to appreciate someone in public...Bill is wonderful. He tucked me in and took our kids and kept them entertained the entire day. I tried to get up and participate in the day a few times but I kept giving in to the fatigue and going back to bed.
During one of my brief awake times I had a wonderful visit with my cousin Tammy and her husband. They stopped on their way back from Chicago where they met their beautiful little son and took pictures and told them they would be back to take him home when he weighed 4.6 lbs.
He is 3 lbs 15 ozs today so it shouldn't be too long. That is another moment I wouldn't have wanted to miss.
With all of that being said, I think next week I will give myself my shot when I get home from work on Saturday (early afternoon) in hopes that the crappy fatigue time will fall on me while I am suppose to be sleeping and not ruin time that is suppose to be with my Bill, Emma and Jake.

My quote for today is a bit long but a great way to start the week.
May the sun bring you new energy by day.
May the moon softly restore you by night.
May the rain wash away your worries.
May the breeze blow new strength into your being.
May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.
-apache blessing-

Two in one day....WOW

A second blog in a day...
I just got back from my evening walk and I was so excited to tell you what I saw that I couldn't possibly wait until tomorrow.
The first thing I noticed is all the different kinds of daylillies that are in bloom right now. Then I noticed the fingernail moon. If Emma had been with me she would have insisted on calling her Grandma and bringing it to her attention. That is something special she shares with Grandma Barger.
About a quarter of the way through my walk I noticed an older rusted car in a garage and I commented to the older rusty man in the driveway that he had quite a treasure in his garage. He told me it was his dad's 1931 Buick. I mentioned that Bill and I have a 57 MGA and he said he once had a 1961 Healy. "It was a great car when it was running" is what he said. I asked him if he had been to the "Classic Car Night" at Pandls on Tuesday evenings and he was not aware of it but thought he might check it out. As much as I needed a little break in my walk, I think he was glad to have someone share a few friendly moments with him.
OK, about half way through my walk I found myself grumbling about how bad my feet ache. Not sure what that's all about but I am glad to have had a recent bone density test with results that indicated I have strong bones otherwise I would have kept myself awake thinking that my feet might crumble before morning.
On the final stretch I saw two young girls (maybe 7th or 8th grade) riding there bikes and talking. I was reminded of my friend Chrissy and the path we wore through Biemert Street biking back and forth to each others houses. Chrissy was my best friend and we remained friends in grade school and high school and even through college. Although I thought of her often I bet more than eight years passed by and I didn't bring myself to find her and get in touch. I saw her last Monday night at her mom's funeral. I wish I wouldn't have waited.

My message to you tonight is don't wait.
Don't wait to go for a walk.
Don't wait to share a kind word with a stranger.
Don't wait to call that friend you've been thinking about.
Don't wait.

Good Night.
Kris

Busy, busy, busy

The first two weeks back to work have been a whirlwind. Quarterly reviews, donation and sponsorship requests and marketing request for our next fiscal year all had a deadline of this week. I have three of the four completed so tomorrow will be another very busy day. The naps take on a whole new meaning now.
A big hurdle I have to overcome right now is finding the right time to exercise and do my physical therapy. As I typed that I remember an earlier blog where I was going to look for the beauty in a evening walk versus a morning walk. No better time than today, right?
It's 8:00 PM, the temperature is perfect and there is very little humidity this evening. Do you think God might be trying to tell me something.

I'll blog more tomorrow and let you know what I see.
Thanks for checking in.
Kris

Kid Quotes

This is week two back to work. I am continuing this week with five hour work days and feel pretty good about what I have been able to dig into.
One of the many wonderful parts of my job is finding artwork to rotate through our branch on a quarterly basis. This next quarter (July, August and September) we are featuring the talents of MPS students and their amazing art teachers.
Here are a few quotes that I am going to share with my office. They are currently in frames in the kids playroom.
"A friend is someone who helps you up get up when you fall down." Rachel McCullough, Age 9
" Kiss me when I'm bad. That's when I need it the most." Maura Stuard, Age 9
" Life is about who you love." Anna Yu, Age 12
" People are suppose to make mistakes. That's why we have erasers." Brittany McMahan, Age 8

Here is a brief health update.
Naps continue to be important. Although I felt pretty good when I laid down to rest on Sunday after church I slept for nearly four hours.
The last few days I have had a few dizzy spells. I haven't fainted but have felt faint. I left a message for my doctor and although she tried to reach me three separate times today we never connected. I am sure we will touch base tomorrow and I'll see what she has to say about that.
While in line the other day at the pharmacy I was able to ease the mind of a man who would be starting methotrexate injections. It was one of those moments where you ask yourself...should I say something? If I do, he will know I overheard the conversation. If I don't say something, he walks away nervous and scared. I said something and he seemed very appreciative of the shared experience. I hope it goes well for him.
Regarding the injections. The site of the injection is quite uncomfortable for about 24 hours after the injection. I don't think it's the needle, I think it's the actual medicine thats burning.
Time will continue to tell.
Patience will continue to be important.
Prayers will continue to make me strong.
Thanks to all of you.
Kris

The home computer has provided quite a challenge for me this week. Only when it wants to it provides the little arrow that shows where your mouse is. Right now it's not working so you can only imagine how long it took me to get this far...
I have been back to work for four half days this week (I've been working 5 hour days) and I am exhausted. A good tired, I am not complaining. I receive a lot of joy and satisfaction from my career and the wonderful people I work with and for.

Right before I left the office I ask my coworkers to be prepared to learn new information and new ways of accomplishing tasks. I asked them to keep track of those things or have at least one valuable new thing they learned to tell me about upon my return. Tomorrow I am going to ask them to share that with me. Here the practice run on just a few things that I have learned while I was out of the office.

I learned that it is really important to listen to what my body needs and then follow through.
I learned how to give myself a shot.
I learned that I have a very strong spirit.
I learned that there isn't enough time in the day or days in my life to spend time being negative. It makes me feel bad, physically, mentally and spiritually and I definitely don't need that.
I learned that having the energy to be active with my family can bring as much joy (MORE) than running across a finish line alone. ( I haven't lost my desire to cross a lot more finish lines in my life)

I learned a lot more but those of you reading this learned that about me along the way so these are the first five things I could think of.

My quote for the day "A woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong."

Thanks so much for checking in. I am sorry that it took me a week to get back here.

I'd like to know what you think? 2nd try...

Sorry about that. My fingers were flying on the keyboard and they hit something they weren't suppose to. So let me try again.

What do you think I should do?

I'd like to know if I should tell my guests I am going to bed or if I should just quietly slip away. I prefer to slip away. The reason for this is because I don't want the party to end because of me. However, last night I laid in bed listening to our friends and our kids light off fireworks in our yard and I hoped and prayed they didn't think I was rude for not joining them or for going to bed without saying good night. Some of you have been at our house to be on the receiving end of this so I especially hope you will let me know. If you prefer to not put it on a public blog, you can always email me at home too. Thank you.

Today I pulled down the family calendar to make sure all bases were covered before I return to work on Monday. When I took it down I noticed a piece of paper I had taped up there around Christmas time.
I think it came from an email reminder I get from "the flylady". Here it is...I hope you enjoy it.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I can not change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

When I got home I looked up the Serenity Prayer and read that first verse and then I saw that there was a second verse. I was so surprised.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr
Merry Christmas! My gift to you; if you choose to open it, is a sense of peace that comes from making a choice to be happy!

Have a wonderful day.

I am chosing to be happy.
Kris

I'd like to know what you think?

Lemonade and Cards

The last couple of days have been hard. When I do more than I should (like summerfest) it takes days to recover. I cancelled my physical therapy appointment. There was no way I could have successfully completed even one set of exercises. When the therapist called to check in on me and reschedule we discussed how I was feeling and what I would do differently the next time.

I used to love exercising in the morning. For years it's been an awesome way for me to start the day. Everyone in the house is still sleeping, the neighborhood is quiet, the sun is coming up over the lake.
She suggested I find joy in exercising after dinner. Since I have been off of steroids I am very stiff and achey in the morning. The walk is painful not pleasurable and she is also concerned if I exert that energy in the morning before work it will make being at work more difficult. I did commit to stretching in the morning and doing physical therapy exercises as well (total that takes just over 30 minutes). This will be a nice alternative to my morning walk (bonus....I can do some of it while still in bed and ALL of it while still in pajama's) I look forward to finding and reporting to you the great things I have come to realize when walking at night. She did say it was OK to take my bike out for a ride but I have to build my courage back up for that. I know, I know..."its like riding a bike"

Now what is it about lemonade and cards...

A couple of weeks ago I watched a video clip of a woman who also has Myositis. One of the things she said is "all those old sayings are true"
"When life gives you lemons make lemonade."
"It's not the cards your dealt but how you play them."

In my opinion, she couldn't have been more right.

Have a great day.
I hope you find joy everyday but tomorrow I hope it comes through a celebration of the personal freedom you have for those things that mean the most to you and the freedom we enjoy together as a nation.
God surely has blessed America (and me)
Happy Fourth of July.
Kris

Too much

Remember the other day when I wrote about how Summerfest was just too much walking, dancing, etc... for me to go. Sunday was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it was about 68 degrees outside. Temptation won (and my sister Vicki had free admission) so we took the kids down and guess what? It was too much walking, though we didn't dance and I really thought I was taking it easy. Today I am wiped out. I have a physical therapy appointment this afternoon and she will either congratulate me on being active with my family for 4 hours or remind me that feeling good one day doesn't mean cashing in all my "fun chips" on one activity.
As wonderful as it would be to go down in the evening with Bill and our friends, I learned my lesson. I have to take care of myself first.

Thanks for checking in.
I have to go rest now and try to make up for yesterday.