There is no new normal.
I continue to pursue such a thing but in reality there is only today, this moment.
As you know, it's been quite a while since I have last posted. It's summertime, we are busy and nothing has changed. I am still on the road toward remission. Same lab results, same medications, same number of approved work hours....yah da, yah da, yah da. The biggest change I have made this summer has to do with activities around the house. I am now doing more of the laundry, making more of our meals and in general trying to take back some of the things that Bill has been doing for so long. You know there is only so much one man can do and he has been doing it all.
Today, let me tell you only this one thing...my life is blessed with a wonderful husband, sweet children, an amazing family and great friends.
I have been blessed!
PS - I am pondering a second myositis statement (maybe a shirt, maybe notecards, who knows...but you, my faithful friends will know first when it is revealed)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Here's the sermon...
I saw Pastor Henrichs this afternoon when I went to see the kids Vacation Bible School performance. It was great. It is so neat to see little kids as God's messengers.
Pastor said I could post the sermon and I think the best way to do that is by giving you the blog address. Thank you Cate, you saved me from having to try to figure out how I could post a link.
Have a wonderful week-end.
http://oursaviorwfbsermons.blogspot.com
Pastor said I could post the sermon and I think the best way to do that is by giving you the blog address. Thank you Cate, you saved me from having to try to figure out how I could post a link.
Have a wonderful week-end.
http://oursaviorwfbsermons.blogspot.com
Thursday, July 9, 2009
It's been a good week
It's been a good week on many levels and it started out on Sunday morning with an awesome sermon by Pastor Henrichs. It was so good, and I know that there will be more times that I need to hear it that I had him send me a copy. I am going to ask him if it's OK to post on my blog and if he says "yes", I hope you will check back and take it in. I can't even put it in a nutshell for you, what I can say is it was a reminder that we do not need to be strong. We all have thorns that we may pray, and beg and plead be taken out of our lives and if the answer isn't what we want, it doesn't mean God isn't listening...it's there for a reason.
I have been pursuing "being strong" or getting stronger for years now and it's exhausting and frustrating, yet through it all, God continues to bless me, I am always driven by the sense that there is a greater purpose for me and my life than what I might have mapped out on my own.
This permission to not be strong gave me the willpower to go to the yoga class I had signed up for months ago but was now dreading. I didn't want to be the one person in the room that couldn't do it. I didn't want to be weak and certainly not in front of people I didn't know and who didn't know me. I didn't want to have to explain the reason behind my weakness, I wasn't going to go. I had permission this week to not be strong and I went. I am glad I did. The instructor (a friend of mine from Bunko) gave me some pointers before class. She was encouraging and positive and understanding and all the things I needed for trying something new. I loved it and am looking forward to next Thursday evening.
This week I saw Dr. Cohen. I think we are both comfortable with the fact that although the disease is still there, it is stable on medication. The meds, along with the balance I've achieved between work and home, eating foods that are much better for me, getting rest when I need it and not pushing myself to be what I was but accepting the me that I am creating, all play a part in this. I asked Dr. Cohen if I could start Physical Therapy again and she agreed. My first PT appointment was on Wednesday and I have two appointments per week scheduled for a number of weeks to follow.
Well, although I have a renewed energy after yoga tonight, I also have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, starting with another doctor appointment. I am seeing an opthamologist. One of the medications I take can cause a loss of vision so I need to have an eye exam every six months, I think. I haven't noticed any changes so I am not worried.
Have a wonderful day and remember....you do not have to be strong. God is there to hold you up if you need Him.
Good night.
Kris B
I have been pursuing "being strong" or getting stronger for years now and it's exhausting and frustrating, yet through it all, God continues to bless me, I am always driven by the sense that there is a greater purpose for me and my life than what I might have mapped out on my own.
This permission to not be strong gave me the willpower to go to the yoga class I had signed up for months ago but was now dreading. I didn't want to be the one person in the room that couldn't do it. I didn't want to be weak and certainly not in front of people I didn't know and who didn't know me. I didn't want to have to explain the reason behind my weakness, I wasn't going to go. I had permission this week to not be strong and I went. I am glad I did. The instructor (a friend of mine from Bunko) gave me some pointers before class. She was encouraging and positive and understanding and all the things I needed for trying something new. I loved it and am looking forward to next Thursday evening.
This week I saw Dr. Cohen. I think we are both comfortable with the fact that although the disease is still there, it is stable on medication. The meds, along with the balance I've achieved between work and home, eating foods that are much better for me, getting rest when I need it and not pushing myself to be what I was but accepting the me that I am creating, all play a part in this. I asked Dr. Cohen if I could start Physical Therapy again and she agreed. My first PT appointment was on Wednesday and I have two appointments per week scheduled for a number of weeks to follow.
Well, although I have a renewed energy after yoga tonight, I also have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, starting with another doctor appointment. I am seeing an opthamologist. One of the medications I take can cause a loss of vision so I need to have an eye exam every six months, I think. I haven't noticed any changes so I am not worried.
Have a wonderful day and remember....you do not have to be strong. God is there to hold you up if you need Him.
Good night.
Kris B
Monday, June 29, 2009
Looking ahead
Just re-read my last entry and decided I better get another one out here to let you know how I am doing.
We spent the weekend in Minneapolis with the Klehr family (my sister Sherry, husband Mike, kids, Sam and Maggie) and I have been feeling good. There have been many times over the past couple of years when I had to turn in early or skip on an outing because I didn't have the energy or was afraid of not having the energy. Not this time. We stayed up late, played pool, danced around the newly remodeled basement. We watched some of Sam's baseball tournament games, went to Emma's feis competition, walked the dogs and I even drove a couple hours on our way back home to Milwaukee.
How did I do? Pretty good. There are times when I still need help up when I am sitting on the ground and it takes awhile to get moving after riding in the car. I have aches and pains but they are no longer getting the best of me. For the most part, they are not stopping me.
The other things I did since my last entry:
I followed up with my food coach and she helped me navigate my most recent "detour". I guess that is the best way of describing those times when I get down on myself and allow that to get the best of me...it's a detour. I am still going to reach my destination. I feel comfortable with the food choices I am making and measuring my hunger scale (trying to not wait to eat until I am really hungry and eating only until I am satisfied), keeping the right foods in the house and talking through what I am feeling when I am going to eat something that provides nothing of value to my body.
The next stop on this journey is activity/exercise. I wrote down a single goal. I will exercise every day. This exercise may include walking, swimming, cycling, a DVD, or my physical therapy exercises. I have steps in place to ensure I am successful and I have asked Bill, Emma and Jake to hold me accountable. It may sound silly but I am giving myself a star sticker every time I exercise and I am going to reward myself with a new item of clothes or a manicure every 10 stickers until it becomes the healthy habit I desire.
The other thing I did was research our health insurance. I found a physical therapist that I want to work with and when I have my next appointment with Dr. Cohen (July 7th) I will ask her to write a referral for me to begin physical therapy again. I actually went ahead and made an appointment at Vita Fitness for physical therapy on July 8th. Dr. Cohen has been amazing to work with and I believe she will support this next step. My goal is to work with someone to incorporate weight bearing exercises into my daily life.
So, did I exercise today? I did not.
With that being said, I will head upstairs and do the exercises I received a couple of years ago from another therapist.
Thanks again for checking in. I am pretty sure there were a couple of prayers said for me after that entry and I wanted to let you know they worked.
We spent the weekend in Minneapolis with the Klehr family (my sister Sherry, husband Mike, kids, Sam and Maggie) and I have been feeling good. There have been many times over the past couple of years when I had to turn in early or skip on an outing because I didn't have the energy or was afraid of not having the energy. Not this time. We stayed up late, played pool, danced around the newly remodeled basement. We watched some of Sam's baseball tournament games, went to Emma's feis competition, walked the dogs and I even drove a couple hours on our way back home to Milwaukee.
How did I do? Pretty good. There are times when I still need help up when I am sitting on the ground and it takes awhile to get moving after riding in the car. I have aches and pains but they are no longer getting the best of me. For the most part, they are not stopping me.
The other things I did since my last entry:
I followed up with my food coach and she helped me navigate my most recent "detour". I guess that is the best way of describing those times when I get down on myself and allow that to get the best of me...it's a detour. I am still going to reach my destination. I feel comfortable with the food choices I am making and measuring my hunger scale (trying to not wait to eat until I am really hungry and eating only until I am satisfied), keeping the right foods in the house and talking through what I am feeling when I am going to eat something that provides nothing of value to my body.
The next stop on this journey is activity/exercise. I wrote down a single goal. I will exercise every day. This exercise may include walking, swimming, cycling, a DVD, or my physical therapy exercises. I have steps in place to ensure I am successful and I have asked Bill, Emma and Jake to hold me accountable. It may sound silly but I am giving myself a star sticker every time I exercise and I am going to reward myself with a new item of clothes or a manicure every 10 stickers until it becomes the healthy habit I desire.
The other thing I did was research our health insurance. I found a physical therapist that I want to work with and when I have my next appointment with Dr. Cohen (July 7th) I will ask her to write a referral for me to begin physical therapy again. I actually went ahead and made an appointment at Vita Fitness for physical therapy on July 8th. Dr. Cohen has been amazing to work with and I believe she will support this next step. My goal is to work with someone to incorporate weight bearing exercises into my daily life.
So, did I exercise today? I did not.
With that being said, I will head upstairs and do the exercises I received a couple of years ago from another therapist.
Thanks again for checking in. I am pretty sure there were a couple of prayers said for me after that entry and I wanted to let you know they worked.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
an update
Hello friends,
Sorry that it has been so long since I last posted anything to the blog. I prefer to write when I feel that I have something that needs to be said or maybe something inspiring. Sad to say, that day is not today either but I did need to let you know I was still out here, trying to make the most of each day.
This is the first week that the kids are out of school on summer vacation and I went from feel good to feeling OK and tonight I am very tired.
So far, the hardest thing about summer is that the clothes from last summer came out for the nice weather and they don't fit. I really , really am trying to stay positive. I am really, really trying to look at all the good that has come over the past year and all that I have learned and changed for the better and then I try and find something to wear and all the good quickly fades to something that feels very much like failure. I allow that feeling to be there. It's there for a reason and then I take a deep breath and appreciate that my legs took me for a walk today with my beautiful healthy children and sweet dog. My arms allowed me to hug my husband and I even put it all together and went swimming for 25 minutes tonight.
Deep breath...I am blessed.
Good night.
Kris
Sorry that it has been so long since I last posted anything to the blog. I prefer to write when I feel that I have something that needs to be said or maybe something inspiring. Sad to say, that day is not today either but I did need to let you know I was still out here, trying to make the most of each day.
This is the first week that the kids are out of school on summer vacation and I went from feel good to feeling OK and tonight I am very tired.
So far, the hardest thing about summer is that the clothes from last summer came out for the nice weather and they don't fit. I really , really am trying to stay positive. I am really, really trying to look at all the good that has come over the past year and all that I have learned and changed for the better and then I try and find something to wear and all the good quickly fades to something that feels very much like failure. I allow that feeling to be there. It's there for a reason and then I take a deep breath and appreciate that my legs took me for a walk today with my beautiful healthy children and sweet dog. My arms allowed me to hug my husband and I even put it all together and went swimming for 25 minutes tonight.
Deep breath...I am blessed.
Good night.
Kris
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Do nothing...
Do nothing....are you kidding me? Well, that is step number one in "the Joy diet" by Martha Beck. The next book on my list of books to read. This step actually came up in something else I shared. The 40 things to do to make 2009 great. There must be something to it.
The suggestion is to spend at least 15 minutes a day doing absolutely nothing.
Not mindless things, but nothing and see where your mind takes you. My thought was that it will lead me right to the 50 things I have to do right after I do nothing for 15 minutes. I tried it today and that is not what happened. I thought about my son, Jake for a moment and something we are working through with him. I thought about the upcoming week-end and what it will bring. I thought about the lousy interaction I had with someone I love and what needed to be said to heal. I thought about lightning (and it was a sunny day). I thought about the warmth of having our dog snuggled in next to me. What a wonderful quiet companion.....and so much more.
There is definitely something to be said for doing nothing for fifteen minutes. I am going to find time to do it again tomorrow and see what happens.
As I write this I am finding myself wondering, if you might be wondering how I pick the books I read. I wondered if you might be thinking "there she goes, reading another self help book". I'm not convinced that they are self help books. I believe that I am being lead in a direction that continues to open my mind to so many possibilities. They are books that inspire and make me feel good about choices I have made and inspire me to continuing growing into who I will be.
Update on how I have been feeling...
I have been waking up the past three or four days at 4:00 in the morning. No alarm, just awake. I have been laying there refusing to get up it's way too early and in not too much time I fall back to sleep only to be awaken by the sound of the radio and suddenly not wanting anything to do with waking up. Although I think I feel pretty good at 4:00, I have been feeling lousy at 5:50. My body aches, my muscles are tired, I have a really hard time getting going. It hurts to walk down the stairs in the morning and I find that there are times recently when I become short of breath and then I worry that this disease is planning to become loud in my life instead of the constant simmer that it has been and then I remember that this is part of who I am. This is part of God's plan for me and He has already guided me through some pretty bad days, He is not about to leave me or forsake me.
I could go on, but I just looked at the clock and it's almost 10. If I don't get to bed, 5:50 will be hard for a whole different reason.
Live well, Love Much, Laugh Often ...Believe.
klb
The suggestion is to spend at least 15 minutes a day doing absolutely nothing.
Not mindless things, but nothing and see where your mind takes you. My thought was that it will lead me right to the 50 things I have to do right after I do nothing for 15 minutes. I tried it today and that is not what happened. I thought about my son, Jake for a moment and something we are working through with him. I thought about the upcoming week-end and what it will bring. I thought about the lousy interaction I had with someone I love and what needed to be said to heal. I thought about lightning (and it was a sunny day). I thought about the warmth of having our dog snuggled in next to me. What a wonderful quiet companion.....and so much more.
There is definitely something to be said for doing nothing for fifteen minutes. I am going to find time to do it again tomorrow and see what happens.
As I write this I am finding myself wondering, if you might be wondering how I pick the books I read. I wondered if you might be thinking "there she goes, reading another self help book". I'm not convinced that they are self help books. I believe that I am being lead in a direction that continues to open my mind to so many possibilities. They are books that inspire and make me feel good about choices I have made and inspire me to continuing growing into who I will be.
Update on how I have been feeling...
I have been waking up the past three or four days at 4:00 in the morning. No alarm, just awake. I have been laying there refusing to get up it's way too early and in not too much time I fall back to sleep only to be awaken by the sound of the radio and suddenly not wanting anything to do with waking up. Although I think I feel pretty good at 4:00, I have been feeling lousy at 5:50. My body aches, my muscles are tired, I have a really hard time getting going. It hurts to walk down the stairs in the morning and I find that there are times recently when I become short of breath and then I worry that this disease is planning to become loud in my life instead of the constant simmer that it has been and then I remember that this is part of who I am. This is part of God's plan for me and He has already guided me through some pretty bad days, He is not about to leave me or forsake me.
I could go on, but I just looked at the clock and it's almost 10. If I don't get to bed, 5:50 will be hard for a whole different reason.
Live well, Love Much, Laugh Often ...Believe.
klb
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Note from Dr. Sweeney
Last week I met with Dr. Sweeney to review the drugs I was taking and to see if I might be able to begin the process of weening myself from them. Many of the prescription drugs I take are in place to lessen the effects of other prescriptions and it becomes a crazy circle.
Here's what we decided.
I dropped one prescription completely.
I reduced a prescription to taking one dose in the evening instead of one in the morning and one at night.
I had my blood work tested and in a note I received in the mail from Dr. Sweeney this week it appears that my thyroid is now producing adequate amounts of the right hormone so I don't need to take that prescription anymore. We will test again in six months and see that the thyroid continues to remain stable. I have had a raging headache for about six days now and I will have to look into that but that will not stop me.
So here I am celebrating a success that isn't measured by a scale or the size of my pants.
YEAH !!!
Kris
Here's what we decided.
I dropped one prescription completely.
I reduced a prescription to taking one dose in the evening instead of one in the morning and one at night.
I had my blood work tested and in a note I received in the mail from Dr. Sweeney this week it appears that my thyroid is now producing adequate amounts of the right hormone so I don't need to take that prescription anymore. We will test again in six months and see that the thyroid continues to remain stable. I have had a raging headache for about six days now and I will have to look into that but that will not stop me.
So here I am celebrating a success that isn't measured by a scale or the size of my pants.
YEAH !!!
Kris
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