A few really hard days...

Over the past two weeks I have had a few really hard days. I am guessing it's just my body adjusting to another change in prednisone but I also have a rash that I haven't had before. Today I decided to stop ignoring it and to call Dr. Cohen and report in. As you know, I have the type of myositis called dermatomyositis. Until now, I haven't had many skin issues. Many times individuals with dermatomyositis can get a rash and I believe I may have a "shawl rash". They call it this because it covers the same area a "shawl" would if you happen to have one wrapped around your shoulders. I've also been struggling with fatigue and moods. A good mood is a beautiful thing. A bad mood, a sad mood, and a frustrated mood are not. It is very hard for me to be anything but happy, at least on the outside. I know how many things I have to be thankful for. I know that there are many more people who's lives are presented with greater challenges but there are days, thankfully not many, when I say "why me". When I whine that I am sick of being sick and I want my old life back.
Writing is therapy...it's OK to have those feelings. It's even better when they don't take over days and weeks and months of your life.
The other day when I met with Rachel (my food coach), we talked about what we feed ourselves and she encouraged me to take a look at how much vitamin J I was getting. If 10% of my vitamin J comes from food, that's great. It means that 90% is coming from other things.
Vitamin J is joy.
I am making a list now of all the things that bring me joy and finding a way to fill up my days with it. It's just a start but the first thing I noticed was how neat it is to go for a walk for the purpose of joy.
Have a great day.
klb