The wall...

Today the wall was just too high to climb.
I sure wish I could figure this out. There were weeks there when things were going along pretty smoothly. You all know that because I had nothing new to report and you saw days and weeks go by without an update.
Yesterday I talked about stepping in place. Today, I got up, got ready, got to work, realized that my coffee cup (with tea in it) seemed heavier than normal and my arms ached and the elevator was a better choice than taking the stairs. I looked at my calendar for the day and quickly came to the realization that I didn't have the energy today to take it all on.
When there are days and moments like this it takes a lot to just look at the facts and deal with them as facts and not emotionally. I left work and was home and in bed by 10:45. I got out of bed at 2:45 and by 4:00 I felt the same as I did at 10:00...exhausted.
Everyone deserves better on days like these...the employees I was scheduled to meet with, my husband and kids, the dog, our house, the phone calls that went unanswered and the emails that went unreturned.
I am very close to calling my doctor to let her in on what's going on but there is an internal struggle going on. I am OK with staying in one place for now, things have been running smoothly but I am terrified to report taking a step backwards. It is time to take a look at that lovely sermon from Pastor Henrichs and feel the comfort that comes with the permission to be weak.
If you don't know what I am talking about, the sermon is posted on my blog and I think it's called "I am weak".
My friends, I am going to go watch Jake play with his legos. I pray that the next post will report more positive news.
Thanks for checking in.
Kris