The last couple of days have been on the side of "less than pleasant". I try really hard to keep positive and upbeat but sometimes I just have to lay out all that stinks so that I can see through it all to what is great and wonderful.
I am in the process of tapering the prednisone. This might be the reason I am having a challenge controlling the "crabby, angry" Kris. This morning my observant Emma said, "mom, you must not feel very good". "Why would you say that, I just said that I was hot." I replied. "Well, I thought that might be why you are so mad this morning."
I hate that my children see me not feeling well. Emma just asked me if the medicine that I am changing is called "mad medicine".
I also decided recently to log back on to the Weight Watchers etools. Do you want to know what makes me mad? The fact that in the last 14 weeks I have lost only 3.2 pounds.
I also find the unwanted facial hair, the daily raging headaches, waking up at 2:00AM and not being able to fall back to sleep and then struggling to be an active part of my family after dinner a big bummer.
The question is, do I call my doctor and tell her I am not myself? Is it possible I just need to "tough this out" and is tapering from prednisone like breaking an addiction? If I hold out, will it get better, will I feel better, will I be my pleasant positive self again? I really am not a crabby person. It is not my nature so it feels like "who the heck is controlling me?" "Who's in my head and body and how do I get back in."
My quote is from a hymn I learned as a child...the line I find myself humming over and over again is "I am trusting thee Lord Jesus, trusting only thee..."
Really, what else is there. There is a plan. I am part of it and He is in control.
Good Night.
Kris B
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4 comments:
Someone sent me this prayer.
"God, our Father, walk through my house and take away all my worries and illnesses; in Jesus' name. Amen."
God bless you, Kris, please hang in there. Things WILL get better.
Pat
Every week at my tai chi class, at the end we do this short series of meditations. The last part of the last one is where we raise our hands/arms, and throwing them downward, shaking out all the bad energy. There is something to be said for getting the bad stuff out to make way for the good stuff.
Weight Watchers? Heck, you have the challenge of that program with an awesome chef in the house... I might trade that for a few more lbs on the scale. Give my brother a hug for me.
Facial hair? Welcome to my world, and I can't blame any meds!
We all have our crap, we all have our blessings, too. Sometimes the crap bubbles up over, but it won't last forever, the blessings are too big.
A closing from my WW meeting a couple weeks ago-- if you quit today, you'll never know how close you were to breaking through.
Kris, you are handling all that's on your plate with more grace than I can believe. Do the best you can with what you've got on any given hour of any given day.
Sending you lots of love and strength and chi, from all the way over here.
XXOO Meg
Just got in from blowing snow for us and four neighbors. I'm happy to see your always looking forward. It's like the "don't stop pedaling, the view from the top of the mountain will be wonderful", that we need to remember. It's the puffing that's hard to contend with.
Can't wait to see you and your family this weekend.
Love from Dad and Mom
Just got in from blowing snow for us and four neighbors. I'm happy to see your always looking forward. It's like the "don't stop pedaling, the view from the top of the mountain will be wonderful", that we need to remember. It's the puffing that's hard to contend with.
Can't wait to see you and your family this weekend.
Love from Dad and Mom
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